phinnia: (moon)
went to the dentist. i actually don't mind dentists: i've been lucky not to ever have a bad dentist experience, and all of my dentists have been really awesome and kind people. my current guy is particularly good. i fell asleep in his chair once while he was working on my teeth. good times. I actually based the dentist's office in a taste of tea on his office: the building it's in is called 'The Wilsonian.' i thought it was a sign.

finished 'rethinking thin' (by gina kolata) given all of those bus trips and reading in the dentist chair waiting for things to be numb. (his magazine selection kind of sucks.) good book on the complete bullshit that is the diet industry, with a nice historical chapter on how pretty much every diet has been seen in some form before. (people used to drink vinegar as a weight loss tonic. i haven't seen that one back but i wouldn't be surprised.)

fun fact: i'm quite comfortable lying with my head lower than my feet and reading upside down. this isn't something that happens to everyone, given people kept asking if i was alright. next on the bookstack: 'best sex writing 2009'. (sex journalism, not erotica.)

oh, and don't call my phone (most of you don't anyway) because it spontaneously snuffed it today. getting a new one hopefully thursday. always pay for handset insurance, children. this has been a public service announcement.

this clickies post is brought to you today by [ profile] machineplay (world's best girlfriend), [ profile] foxestacado (who finds consistently excellent links and who just went to China, i am so jealous) and [ profile] bernie_laraemie (who is a wonderful and gracious gentleman owned by several lovely birds).

dog versus caterpillar. dog: 0. caterpillar: 1 (which is particularly good considering the deadness of the caterpillar. other bystander dog is all 'WTF is worng with you??'

child abuse alters stress-fighting gene. This does not surprise me in the least.

parents complain disabled tv presenter may scare children. i want to smack every one of them over the head. hard. the people who have actually SEEN the show are generally positive, which is a good thing. I can't imagine any child being scared of that woman. oh, society, you so funny.

'ghost peaks' emerge from the Ice. The Gamburtsev mountains are actually under one of the major ice 'plains'. They've been mapped using remote sensor technology. Too cool.

that's all i've got tonight, kids. be well and happy. (neko is watching me as i type. this post is Cat Approved™).
phinnia: smiling dolphin face (andemade geisha-shadowed)
Last night the kidlet made up a sign for 'bedtime snack' with no prompting - it's a combination of his signs for 'eat' and 'sleep'. I am SO PROUD right now. He's learning and processing and just ... getting it! eee. (he's also singing little songs that he's learned in school - the 'eensy weensy spider', and scales - no words, but very obvious tunes.)


From the incredibly awesome [ profile] brightflashes, two clickies of interest: ten sci-fi devices that could soon be in your hands and feeling your words: hearing with your face. so awesome.

Another from [ profile] foxestacado, who sends me marvelous things frequently: marlon brando's ghost continues to haunt his island.

An item of local interest: the story behind the steps in the sidewalk. Our neighborhood has several sidewalk stones that have dancing-diagrams for various types of dance - waltz, rumba, chachacha, etc - and I never knew why before. I love local history.

today: attempting to sort out sean's perscriptions via stupid mailorder pharmacy thing. ugh. hate. (the worst of it is that I can do phone or internet refills via my current pharmacy, so this really has no advantage for me - and phones make me seriously aphasic these days, especially when I'm stressed). Need to either use that IP relay thing that chris told me about that uses instant messaging, or start writing scripts before every call. AUGH HATE. The collection agency I had to deal with this morning was so bad that I had to have Chris deal with them because my voice practically locked up. *wince* hooray, yet another fucking disability - and worse yet it's activating old family issues because my mother would so frequently criticize my speaking (not loud enough, not clearly enough, making fun of my stutter in some supposed means of "helping" to fix it, etc.)

Other annoying things: I'm losing weight (please don't congratulate me - again with the eating disorder thing) and my pants are falling off. No, I mean literally. Yes, sometimes with a belt. I hate buying new pants. Also: kid has today off for no discernable reason (okay, kid is being really good, but still, schoolboard fail).

On the other hand: fedex actually showed up (or at least the express one did) with our router. So that's good.
phinnia: smiling dolphin face (house/wilson-yay!)
First appointment: orthopedic surgeon.

Short answer: complete waist of freaking time. Nothing he can do for me. Suggests I go back to rehab clinic for more antispasticity meds. Considering that when I initially went in to rehab I could walk mostly normally (for someone with CP, that is) and actually get up off the floor and use my arms to pull myself up on things and not fall down or have to lean on something constantly, I am saying that the antispasticity meds can go fuck themselves with my compliments, and the botox can help (considering the lack of leg muscle control for the first few weeks after the botox treatments has leflt me in some extremely humiliating situations which I would rather not discuss. All I really wanted at the beginning for all of that was physical therapy. I have the stretches the PT taught me and I have information on water fitness classes. I think I am done with rehab, THANK YOU AND GOOD NIGHT.

Then I came home (no, really, it was actually much easier to come home between appointments) and had decent but not fantastic mexican food, coffee and mini cheesecakes. Went to local lesbian bookstore; did not pick up lesbians, but did manage to get some cards for people and a very nice book on the best buddhist writings of 2008. I'm hoping to get either enlightenment or material for new monk stories.

Second appointment: rheumatology.

They got the test results back. Some of them are abnormal. Now we have to run those tests again. Preliminary diagnosis based on bloodwork and some preliminary questions/facts about me point to sjorgren's syndrome (which wins the award for the least intuitive spelling in an autoimmune disorder) which (i'm guessing) is probably comorbid with some flavor of arthritis given that it looks and feels like my grandmother's arthritis that started when she was about my age. Also I probably have restless legs syndrome and they can give me something for that, which is nice because it feels like lightning-based needles are running through my thighs, which is a bit distracting when you're trying to get a bit of a nap.
So I get tested for that, and I have to go back to the dentist and do tests on my saliva, and eventually I may have to get a cheek biopsy (not looking forward to this part).

But yes. surgeon useless (except possibly in the 'feeling better about not requiring surgery for quite some time' bracket, so not so useless i suppose) and rheumathologists have fun theory that explains things, and the theory has been brought over by (it looks like) Swedish people, which wlil make [ profile] bork either happy or sad, i'm not sure.

hi, how was your day? the inauguration was cool. ooh, a shiny thing -
phinnia: smiling dolphin face (house/rainbowsunshine)
I woke up with my left hand in a random claw shape and my left shoulder (lesser extent the elbow) screaming at me for a multitude of imagined sins. The hand was comforted by some stretches, and the new heating pad (which largely rocks because it has moist and dry heat and therapy settings so it can shut itself off after a certain amount of time, but best of all it has strings to tie it to various parts of your body so you can actually keep it where it needs to be - HIGHLY recommended - it's made by Softheat, amazon has their products here.

Nifty things for the day:
[ profile] joe_pike_junior (who is pretty awesome himself) posted illusions of steepness and height and how the brain handles them.

Also, someone asked me if they could translate one of my femmeslash fics (smoke: cuddy/stacy, post-infarction, angsty for me anyway, rated r-ish) into Russian. I was amazed and intrigued, so I said "hey, sure!". I know a few of you read some russian: the entry is here.

Kid has the day off. Kid is being astonishingly good *touch wood* these days. Many of my chores and writings are being interrupted with hug-and-kiss breaks. Sadly had to postpone the Children's Museum trip with [ profile] the_misha, [ profile] tiggrrl and their wee sproglet due to elevator outage on this end. (it's being intermittently weird, getting stuck between floors. No one knows why. They generally have a one-day turn around these days but it fell apart Saturday morning.)

Found out at IEP meeting how awesome he is at eating with a spoon; gave him some tapioca-thickened pudding (because ricemilk does not thicken) and he managed it without making a gigantic mess. Also handwashing, some progress on toilet training, putting on and taking off shoes and to a lesser amount coat. (question to the masses: i would like to buy him a couple zipper pulls (you know the things that attach to the zippers?). anyone know of a place to get kid-useable (ie: not fancy/decorative, more utilitarian) ones?

They are working on the pressing-buttons issue also, with something called IntelliKeys, which his vision teacher somewhat explained (buttons that can be programmed to make different sounds, etc.) In search of Sean-adaptable (ie: sounds more than visuals) computer games that can be adapted with a switch, so if you know of anything (maybe [ profile] nihilistech? [ profile] machineplay? [ profile] gizmometer?) give me a shout.

Okay, shoulder is settling into at least quieter bitchiness. Gotta get a few things done. <3 I hope you're all well and as happy as you can be today.
phinnia: smiling dolphin face (gimpy/camp can't feel my legs)
to anyone out there that has crappy balance and is dealing with snow/ice/general slipperyness: you need these.

I just ordered mine so I'll be doing a review. <3

ALSO: thank you [ profile] anneheart and [ profile] nightdog_barks for your wonderful cards, and thank you [ profile] jane_hidell for the amazingly awesome package of love. <3 <3
phinnia: b&w picture of spoons. text "i have measured out my life in coffee spoons" (coffee spoons)
Well, at the hour of oh my god thirty, I'm off to prove I'm crippled enough for paratransit. Fabulous, just fabulous. I have to make them a list of my meds, which is always entertaining, especially when we get to the part where I'm taking two spastic muscle relaxants.

(person: "you do know that both of these do the same thing, right?)
(me: *sigh* "I am, yes.")
(person: "and do your doctors know about this?")
(me: "yes. it was the same guy that perscribed both of them. They don't really make much more than a dent in my spasticity, actually.)
(person: "ooooooooooooookay...")
(me: "can I have my pills please?")

I would also like to state that of all the side effects I've ever suffered, the methadone induced drymouth is the worst. My mouth sticks to itself. It's painful and horrible.

but enough of that, here are some clickies for you:

From the marvelous [ profile] the_xtina: Sesame Street absorbed by the Department Of Homeland Security. Oh sure, it's all about disaster readiness, okay. It's not the Sandman at all...yet.

(god, you really do have to give them credit for propaganda. Seriously. This whole setup was incredible.)

From my incredibly gorgeous and talented girlfriend [ profile] machineplay: GOP candidate was picked up by a woman, wakes up with $120,000 of his stuff missing. *cough. cough. smirk.* Um. That poor man... um... or something, anyway. *cough*

Adopt one today! Adopt one today! Adopt one today! Adopt one today!
phinnia: smiling dolphin face (friendlyhostility/oh god not again)
Clearly the solution is 'do not get out of bed, prepare all of Sean's lunch and clothing the night before, and go back to sleep instead of having coffee.' Because I slept in until 12 and have not felt better in several days. (Okay, yes. Still feel sore as all hell and am still somewhat tired but do not feel like an emotional breakdown is imminent.)

Therefore: purchase insulated coffee thermoses and rearrange schedule so spouse can go into work early and come home early. More convenient for all concerned, actually.

Also: still have no hot water (hot water tank/heater is getting replaced as I write this) and feel grungy as well as sore. I have no idea how bad I would feel without the methadone. I assume far worse. I really hope it gets fixed soon. I would give ridiculous amounts of money for a hot shower.

Still irritated at body but perhaps we have reached an uneasy detente? One does hope.

Having pizza tonight. Dishes are all filthy and horrifying.

Adopt one today! Adopt one today! Adopt one today! Adopt one today!
phinnia: smiling dolphin face (deathwings)
Dear brain,

Anxiety is not fun. Being anxious about something you already know will turn out fine is not only not fun it is the height of bloody masochism.



Dear teeth,

Haven't we had enough dental work done this year? Please stop hurting! Seriously! That tooth there has already been pampered to bits.



Dear right ankle,

You are Not Allowed To Start. The left one already hurts. ONE OF YOU has to behave.



If I were a horse, clearly I would already be shot.

(and now because the first three have grown up, a new set. <3)
Adopt one today! Adopt one today! Adopt one today! Adopt one today!
phinnia: asian person demonstrating proper use of facemask (birdflu)
Crows stealing money from car washes.

Seriously, awesome. Crows are neat.

Random other bits from the afternoon:

Got hold of the ankle surgeon's people. The ankle surgeon is booking into JANUARY for consults. I have an appointment with the ankle surgeon to discuss tendon release. Also have rebooked appointment with spinal-surgery person at the pain clinic, for mid-September. (Just discussing the surgery at this point. Not actually getting implants installed yet. There'll probably be a trial, and - yeah. Hurry up and wait.)

At a rate of (when possible) no more than two appointments per week, I am booking myself into early/mid-October now. That said I think I only need to make one more appointment (rheumatology) and that will happen tomorrow. Awesome.

Current job: professional patient/fiction writer, apparently.

Have epic headache of epicness. lying down now.
phinnia: smiling dolphin face (mad mad world)
twenty-nine days to go. No one has died yet although there have been moments. It's Way Too Freaking Hot in here.

Best Feministe Post EVER WRITTEN:

"Often, when someone learns that another person lives with some sort of medical condition, slight or severe, their first reaction is to suggest to that person some way they could make their condition better.

On behalf of all those persons, let me say: Stop."

Seriously. Required reading for LIFE, or it should be.

From the most awesome [ profile] hitchhiker: An excellent post on female characters in fiction.

Very nifty: Rare 'devil's cigar' fungus found in Nara.
phinnia: smiling dolphin face (deathwings)
Number of referrals I asked the Stoned Nurse in rehab for: two.
Number she has managed to screw up? two.

Called the ankle/foot surgeon to check on my referral. Apparently The Stoned Nurse put that I had 'knee pain' (which I do, but the ankle pain is FAR worse and that IS in my file) and so it got kicked back as being not this guy's specialty. I fucking swear I will never find an orthopedic surgeon. Bleedthrough pain on ankle is sadly normal now, which makes me wonder how it would be without the freaking methadone. I can barely walk on it for more than two or three feet. Left hamstring hates me on general principles. *grumble* Seeing doctor on Thursday. Am going to beg for more methadone and hope they don't think I'm a drug-seeking junkie.

Called physical therapy. Still can't find my physical therapist. Hate their new receptionist; she is wonderfully unhelpful. No one is returning my calls. RAGE.

Tripped in living room, bruised tip of right patella on floor. May have screwed up left hip in attempt to get up. Took me ten minutes to walk to the end of the block. Have stuff to do and can't bloody focus. Do not want to supplement methadone with tylenol 3's or percocet, but may well have to.

phinnia: sandman quote with fish (delirium/fish)
oh boy! I finally have a time release pan medication AND a referral to rheumathology! God, I <3 my internist. He is Truly Awesome.

So I get to try methadone as a pain med (it's apparently very good at it, although I have to supply my own orange juice), I have less blood now (four vials, but no liver panel today, oddly enough), I'm to wait two weeks and if rheumathology doesn't call me I am to yell at them, and I think the cat is pregnant again.

How was your afternoon?
phinnia: smiling dolphin face (house/wilson-taste of victory!)
Because my birthfamily is Messed The Hell Up, I am now learning things about myself and my disability that I probably might ought to have known before now. Some of these things are fantastically vindicating.

The reason I can't bend over properly? Is because of my spasticity and my joints. It's not because I'm fat. It's not because I'm out of shape (atlhough I am, but that's a different matter). It's not because I'm not trying hard enough. It's just the way I was built.

The reason I can't sit with straight posture? Is because I have a messed-up pelvis (again, due to the CP). It's not because I'm lazy and it's not because I'm fat and it's not because I don't care about my appearance.

I am only barely able to restrain myself from phoning my mother and informing her of these True Medical Facts. My therapist offered to do it for me. (She was pissed, by the way, at the fact that I'd been fed this crap.)



Jun. 25th, 2008 11:27 am
phinnia: smiling dolphin face (bunnystars)
PT was amusing - I got to play with various types of wheelchairs. I am incapable of steering motorized ones in a straight line. (No, really, I am. I look drunk, it's hilarious.) Next week I get to try more of them and I get to fool around outside as well as inside.

Ankle: still epically screwed up. Ditto knee.

Good bits: we're seeing Vertigo tonight at my favorite little movie theater. <3 And I'm having a panini and my favorite chai-with-a-shot-of-espresso drink right now, and my panini came with pickled asparagus, which is awesome and win.

How are you?


May. 9th, 2008 09:02 pm
phinnia: smiling dolphin face (rumi/future better than my past)
home now. tore the living hell out of my knee. hurts like omgwtfdjf;dshgewaiomv. Ace bandage + painkillers + ice. Ambulance ride was fun.
phinnia: asian person demonstrating proper use of facemask (birdflu)
off to urgent care again. this time I've epically fucked up my knee, as in, "I can't put weight on it". This means Seaners and I get to ride in an ambulance! OH BOY.
phinnia: smiling dolphin face (rumi/future better than my past)
Apparently mail addressed to Phinnia Meredith WILL actually get here, because I got a letter addressed to Chris and Phinnia Meredith from one of the potential schools (not the really awesome one, our second choice). Must have gotten it from my email address or something and actually thought it was my first name (to be fair, I respond to it readily). I think this is HILARIOUS.

The child has a two hour early dismissal on 5/21 FOR NO GOOD REASON AT ALL. WHY DO THEY DO THIS?

I have to be at PT for what-the-hell-time-it-is-again (read: 9AM) tomorrow, which means being coherent and coordinated enough to leave the house at holy-fuck-the-chickens-next-door aren't-even-awake-now (read: 8:15 or so). This is going to be a laugh. I'm like the worst parts of the Three Stooges in the morning, minus the pies and slide whistles of course.

Although we do have a slide whistle.

(Note to any pain-in-the-ass-programmer-spouses-reading this: JUST. DON'T.)

Bed nao.
phinnia: asian person demonstrating proper use of facemask (birdflu)
Had first chiro appointment this morning. Definitely yay: finally learned what 'subluxate' means (was previously too lazy to look it up) and learned that having weird knot of pain in side of neck is actually not normal! Go me. Have unconventional ankle sprain! Unconventional ankle sprain is indeed aggravating knee. Chiro attempted to adjust ankle, but ankle is way too freaking tight for things to move properly. Ah, CP is fun! Welcome to the joy that is my left leg.

Got home, attempted to sweep floor, nearly died of pain - ankle adjustment didn't really help. Called Dr. Boyfriend's office for same day appointment: am seeing him (or, well, someone on his team) at 5 today. I have no idea what they can do for a fucking sprained ankle, but I can't walk without throwing my ankle out more, which throws my knee out, which leads to screaming agony and nearly falling face first on a hardwood floor which leads to me popping tylenol 3's and melatonin to get to sleep at night like they're fucking candy.

So, um, yeah. Hopefully I won't need a cast. That would seriously be inconvenient. But I'm not holding my breath... /wince

But other than that? The last few days have actually rocked.
phinnia: asian person demonstrating proper use of facemask (birdflu)
Am currently benched. Walking across the room is interesting (am already uncoordinated: am now more uncoordinated + dizzy from the damn neurontin). Have had morning brainfog which lasted until about 11ish, plus the random hand tremors have increased. Am groggy. Think I'll just lie in this armchair for a bit. Like 'this afternoon'. Fortunately have care for boy this evening plus larger boy is looking after me. Have call in to pain clinic to see if I should keep taking this, back off, whateverhaveyou.

In conclusion: BAH.
phinnia: cup of tea w/text (sex/tea)
Confidence and weight: a proportional relation. Nifty piece about body image.

Note re: neurontin - it works fantastically during the day on a normal day, but not worth shit at night more times than not and/or during a flare. (Which apparently having my teeth worked on risks setting off? Freakin' hilarious.) Pain clinic appointment tomorrow at oh-dark-freakin-thirty; dentist appointment tomorrow at 2:00.

Good stuff: Lunch with [ profile] seattlejo between those two points. Massage Saturday morning at 10:00. Might catch a movie Saturday afternoon. The Bubble is playing, and I love the idea of queer relationships mirroring the Middle East crisis (not to mention all that twentysomething eye candy, I'm a dirty old woman, I know.)

fun times.

Oct. 22nd, 2007 04:20 pm
phinnia: (herself the elf)
Overslept and missed PT and Sean's bus. Late for doctor's appointment due to the usual comedy of errors that is transit. Why yes, it's obviously MONDAY!
Rescheduled doctor for 2PM today and hung around campus until then. Doctor is taking me off the previously ineffective pain meds and putting me on neurontin (100mg 3x daily) assuming my kidney function is decent. (whee! more blood tests! omg!). Changing the Painkiller of Last Resort to my old friend Tylenol with codeine. I have a referral to the Chronic Pain clinic, although god knows when they'll get back to me about that because they're apparently about at a 3 month lag right now, and I'm going back to see him in a month.
But I did get a good bit done on [ profile] dawnstar and [ profile] kolys baby-hat, so it wasn't a total loss. And the pain is at least sort of better. Or more able to be tolerated, anyway.
phinnia: asian person demonstrating proper use of facemask (birdflu)
Well, since ten milligrams of perscription oxycodone twice last night didn't do a damn thing besides make me drowsy (which was good because I could sleep, anyway) I get to spend Saturday at Urgent Care World™, the fun new theme park for all ages! Hopefully I'll come out of this one without a staph infection.

ow. At least the boy's going off with the respite person today.
phinnia: smiling dolphin face (machinations)
Let's All Go On An Outing!

The object of this game: to Go Out, Do Things and Return Home without causing destruction, insanity or substance abuse.

Game Board: currently, the City of Seattle. Game can be played anywhere. Bonus round for double points is played in airports, train stations, parades, concerts, special events and in malls during holiday season.

Mom (comes with accessories: crutches, backpack, harassed expression, large purse, rattling castanet like pill bottles, Random Fall Generator)
Dad (comes with accessories: white cane, irritable expression, GPS device, laptop computer, Microsoft(tm) Tracking Implant Chip)
Kid (comes with accessories: I'm-Not-Listening field generator, shoes and clothes that are removed at random, Cute Generator, Extra Long Life battery, plastic stim toy.)

Challenges Within The Game are brought up using a secret random number generator and can include any and all of the following:

Charity Keepaway: Wherein Our Heroes (the players) evade Random Do Gooders who want to (a)administer unsolicited pity (2) give unsolicited cash donations (really) (iii) attempt to remove Kid from the other players in the guise of being 'helpful' (*) ask if we have found Jesus

It's Howdy Doody Time: Wherein people ask Mom what Dad wants to do/eat/etc. even though Dad is right there and perfectly capable of talking for himself

Awkward Tennis: Wherein people stare and/or ask totally insensitive questions or make amazingly rude statements.

Accomodation Roulette: Wherein people put the bus lift down and cause the autistic five year old to Freak The Hell Out due to the noise even though Mom doesn't need it (and was trying to tell them to stop), or get pissed at Mom for taking the last seat on the bus which someone offered to Dad even though Dad said she should considering she's the one with the balance and mobility issues - but they will forget to announce the requested bus stop, even though Dad foolishly asked them to.

Denial of Karma Attack: Wherein people will attempt to give totally random, unsolicited and sometimes massively unhelpful assistance because they saw a gimp/crip/blindy/autie on TV once and they wanted to find an elevator, therefore this gimp/crip/blindy/autie obviously needs one too, except surprise! they're looking to catch the 3:30 bus to Nashville. This challenge is particularly sneaky because the attacker will become angered easily, pointing out that they were merely trying to assist (even though they did so without prompting and indeed despite protests that this was the wrong thing to do, because obviously their good intentions should absolve them - never mind the fact that the Players now have to spend the night in a hotel and take tomorrow morning's bus. (Note: This has not happened YET to that degree, but it's seriously been a very near miss on more than a few occasions.)

Nothing: Rarely, nothing happens, even though you're quite sure something will and are psyched up to avoid it.

If The Players make it home in one piece without causing insanity or death, they win.


Sep. 23rd, 2007 11:32 am
phinnia: asian person demonstrating proper use of facemask (birdflu)
Weird Phinnia-body-medical strangeness: first two fingers on right hand + first three fingers on left hand = freezing cold and stiff. Remaining fingers = normal body temp, not stiff.

What the hell? They're not bluish, which I think equates to Reynaud's (although I don't know)...


Sep. 18th, 2007 03:46 pm
phinnia: smiling dolphin face (house/wilson-eyerub)

Saw Dr. Boyfriend this afternoon. He upped my desipramine (used for migranes/pain management + sleep) to 50 MG from 25, refilled my pain meds (feldene) and told me to take tylenol with them as well. If that doesn't help with the pain I come back. PT starts again next week. Botox treatments hopefully following week. Damn spasticity, wtf.

Have been awake since about 3:45AM, with about an hour and a half of sleep in there. Am ready to sell the damn child for a pack of airline peanuts. Don't even like airline peanuts.

Seaners can now find his way from the stairs up to our apartment from the parking lot to our apartment door by himself. GO BOY GO.

So. damn. tired. Achy, too.

How about you?


phinnia: smiling dolphin face (Default)

January 2013

678910 1112


RSS Atom

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Sep. 21st, 2017 03:28 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios