phinnia: smiling dolphin face (house/olivia-laughing)
Again, a really good day. as much as this 'insisting on getting off internet and to bed by/at 10pm feels kind of annoying socially, i'm getting much better sleep and am able to get up earlier, so it's a definite win in the end. I have no plans for the day, which is even better! I'm hoping to actually write. i have a FABULOUS koan in mind for the monastery AU (i have a few saved up but this one is PERFECT and needs to be done SOON) so if you're into the monks you may look forward to that. and there's another awesome fic in the pipeline. and hopefully some original stuff too (that is to be given some attention today).

Annoying thing that might end up being good: they all of a sudden (like, this morning) changed Sean's bus route so that he was dropped off about 20 minutes earlier. This freaked me out, largely because (a) i have things set up appointments-wise that relied on that time being 20 minutes later (and that makes a LOT of difference for those types of things and more coming due to new therapists), (2) i hate hate hate getting no notice for things and (iii) i have things set up a certain way with the old driver accomodationswise.

Calls have been put in with the director of transportation and he is meant to be getting back to us by the end of the day. Because they can't bring the kids to the door except at the end of the route (and me waiting outside for him = problem) they will put him at the end of the route again. may not be today due to trickle-through the pipeline but will definitely be by the end of the week. s'good (esp. since that may be later in the day - he adores bus rides so that's awesome for him too.)

(Also i need to complain about the Assholes today. Will do that soon before i get to doing things).

argh. i cannot stand these 'entrepeneurs' and 'media enthusiasts' and all that that keep adding me on twitter (i darenot say it on twitter because that just leads to more of them). dear people of twitter - if you have added me through a random keyword search i probably don't want anything to do with you.

regarding this teabag thing: i think that standard practice for all buzzwords and media compaigns should be running any possible adwords through a class of fifteen year olds. if they think it's funny, then you should find something else.

clickies today are from [livejournal.com profile] bernie_laraemie, [livejournal.com profile] gizmometer, [livejournal.com profile] mactavish and [livejournal.com profile] topaz_eyes.

eNature has TONS of nature guides, including a new version of Sibley's Guide to Birds that's fully online (including birdcalls)!

[livejournal.com profile] kutner_love is having a kutnerfest! (i know most of the mods are on my list and i love you all but the first person i saw this from was Topaz. <3 It looks excellent and i'm definitely entering. There are tons of categories <3

for seattle locals: capitol hill's top blossoms apparently this weekend is going to be nice. we may take seaners to cal anderson park on sunday if anyone wants to hang out there with us? not sure what time but we're flexible other than it needs to be over by about 2 because i have an mri late sunday afternoon <3

scots church volunteer is online singing sensation

cheese nips SCRABBLE edition! so much win.

5 cm fir tree removed from patient's lung. OMGWTF!?!

robber gets stuck in shop window

russian city to rename all soviet streets to christmas streets.

dolphins join fight against somali pirates in gulf of aden SO COOL!!

stephen colbert gets consolation prize from nasa he didn't get his name on the space station; but they named a treadmill after him. <3

Seaners got some tea tree oil on his hands today. there was a bit spilled (several drops) and we could smell it all the way in the back. that stuff is STRONG.

i hope you all are having a great day.
phinnia: girl blowing bubbles (bubbles)
clickies brought to you today by [livejournal.com profile] foxestacado and [livejournal.com profile] tourmailine1973 <3<3<3

summit feast for troops and staff After the summit in Thailand was cancelled, rather than let the food go to waste they served the journalists, guards and various staff members the dinner. I don't know much about thai food (yes, i realize my license to live in Seattle is now under jeopardy - there are about seven thai restaurants within a three block radius of my apartment) but it sounds lovely. <3

twilight advertises using contact lenses okay, no matter what you think of the movie or the books, that's seriously fucking creepy. Look at the model. the whole idea gives me chills.

passenger lands plane after pilot dies. OMG.

icebreaker mission sets sail scientific american is starting a series of posts done by a couple of journalists on an icebreaker on the Bering Sea. This is the first one. (for extra bonus fun note pedantic comment which is pedantic at the beginning there.)

Found new ice-cream dessert thing (cookie bottom + ice cream + fudge) by Ben and Jerry's at grocery store. bought two packages. ice cream = srs bzns. Have new toe up socks book to play with: am pondering ripping apart caston row from just-started socks to try toe-up. Will probably do this as i tend to cast-on tightly and have found that it cuts into my leg if i do it that way. more room at the toe to play with.

Despite that i am grouchy and tired of people today. Some random person patted me on the shoulder as she got past me in the post office line. Do not like being touched by complete strangers.

have picked up 'the open focus brain' from the library. looks short. therapist asked me to read it for next session (2 weeks away). some people have asked me to review it, which i will try to do.

tomorrow visit from new neurologist. scary thing: only missed circling 3 of the dozen or so symptoms on 'neurological complaints' list. do not want. appointment is at 9:20 tomorrow morning, which is also nervewracking.
phinnia: girl with barcode on the back of her neck (barcode)
good news! the elevator is at the moment working. the previous issues were with contractors: one company turned the elevator off and one (or two?) more did the repairs (i know it's ridiculous. i heard it from the landlord. don't worry if it sounds stupid - it is stupid). from what he was saying all the contractors were actually here yesterday, and chris took the elevator down on his way to work, so with any luck it'll still be working when i go out to my appointment.

clickies have been brought to you today by [livejournal.com profile] foxestacado, [livejournal.com profile] frankencensy, and [livejournal.com profile] irismoonlight.

michelle obama hugs the queen. i heard this on the BBC last night (i woke up freezing at 1:30 when the BBC was on, so while i was warming up i heard them talking about it.) apparently it's some kind of protocol breach, but they both look so sweet and happy. made me smile. <3 And the Queen didn't mind, so. That's the important thing.

UK and Canada make deal to share polar facilities.

when you're in pain you have a right to do less

um, yeah.

i agree with this one. it's just so damn difficult. I like being productive. and i know that if it were anyone else other than me i would agree with it. *sigh* i hate looking at the end of the day and seeing nothing worthwhile in it, and it frustrates me to lower my principles. my issues, let me show you them. I'm trying to do better. *sigh again*

ucsd sends out acceptance letters to wrong list.

sweden overwhelmingly allows same-sex marriage as of next month.

i'm off to the oral surgeon as soon as [livejournal.com profile] doubletake gets here: i need a consult for a biopsy for mmy sjogren's test.
phinnia: baby penguins! (antarctica/penguinbabies)
Just two clickies today: infecting mosquitoes before they infect us and vampire unearthed in Venice plague grave.

I also managed to find a new buddhist parable in my travels, so there will likely be a reappearance of the monks in the near future.

cancelled the therapist in Everett. I'm going to try and get in touch with [livejournal.com profile] bork's therapist - and neurologist too.

today is so far better than yesterday. although yesterday i caught up on all the House eps I'd missed. the season shaped up much less terrifying than i originally thought. (i kind of stopped watching since episode six. yes, i know. i am neurotic. i think that's apparent by now.) i am attempting to remain spoiler free to stop my neurotic little brain from chewing on things. just saying so there's no spoiler talk in the comments, okay? we (or many of us) remember last season/early this season when i was neurotically freaking out about House and Wilson never being friends again? And late last season when I was freaking out all through the amber arc and had to quadruple my anti-anxiety meds? i do not do well with stress. it's much better if I don't think about it beforehand. i'll still worry, but slightly less.

anyway, enough about my neuroses.

because i haven't obsessed about antarctica for the past few days:

yesterday's antarctica pic of the day. One of the excellent things about antarctica is that there are some places nearby that don't have snow at all. Deception Island has hot springs, as a matter of fact.

from the 'penguins rock' files: penguins tobogganing and penguins porpoising. (i actually thought that last one was orcas for a few seconds.

local people: anyone up for an ikea trip at some point this weekend? will pay gas money and eternal gratitude. i have to pick up a couple of dressers. (i can order them by phone/online and have them shipped if need be, so it's not a big thing if no one's free; i thought i'd ask anyway to save on shipping, etc.)

oh, also: how much (ballpark figure) is a smallish tattoo (assume maybe 2, 2.5 inches square, fairly simple: a plum blossom. (top right picture, stylized a bit.) and where's a good place to get it done? (as in, tattoo places.) I'm thinking about my left forearm unless someone gives me a compelling reason to put it elsewhere.
phinnia: three stepping stones across still water (path of stones)
cut for melancholia, same old same old. )
happier things:
yesterday i found a really great coffee shop that's much less crowded than vivace and makes amazing crepes. i had a latte and a lovely crepe with lemon and sugar, filled with strawberries and topped with whipped cream, and i got change back from a ten. i also found a little movie theater basically at the end of our street.

i found the library last week; it's a really nice library and only two or three blocks.

i've been getting some wonderful mail love this week, from [livejournal.com profile] adularia and [livejournal.com profile] benjimmy. *squeezes both of them* <3

i have many amazing friends. how are you all?

[livejournal.com profile] jane_hidell's cat came back! i'm really happy about that. <3

i have a really good view at the end of the block.

cut for bigness )

clickies

Mar. 10th, 2009 12:13 pm
phinnia: smiling dolphin face (antarctica/penguinslippy)
today's clickies are brought to you by [livejournal.com profile] hithah, who is one of the kindest people i know, and who needs to come to Seattle at some point that isn't going to be eaten up by packing up our apartment; and [livejournal.com profile] mactavish, who is a fantastic friend and owned by several beautiful dogs. i want to be one of her dogs, were i reincarnated.

anatomy lessons through the ages.

webcast of stephen hawking talking about black holes.

zoo chimp plans rock attack on visitors

gay ducks derail population plan

that splenda you're drinking will be in the water supply for a while. splenda tastes odd to me (although a lot of things taste odd to me) and most chemistry people i've heard that have voiced opinions on it won't go near it with a thirty-foot pole, and to me, that's fairly telling.

how fractals explain what's wrong with wall street. i adore fractals. i forgot how much i like them, too. <3

new play tells the story of rosalind franklin, the woman behind DNA's double helix

maybe i need to go out or something. i don't know. i need to relax because the pain thing is getting to me and the therapist thing is getting to me - a lot of things are getting to me. problem is that i don't know where to go (i'm short on cash until payday, i don't know if it's too cold for a walk ... hm. maybe i'll go to that weird mystery shop (it actually does something involved with mysteries). maybe some ice cream for after dinner tonight will be a relatively inexpensive splurge item. i don't know. maybe i want to stay in ... i really don't know anymore.

okay, the phone is startling me something fierce. bad, bad day for anxiety. i either need to go out or shut off the phone ringer. and i need to take a klonopin.

clickies

Feb. 26th, 2009 09:53 am
phinnia: smiling dolphin face (andemade geisha-shadowed)
brought to you today by [livejournal.com profile] machineplay (who is seriously the best girlfriend ever) and [livejournal.com profile] cueballex (one of my beloved internet children):

chronic pain hurts the brain, disrupting the default mode network dynamics.

they're autistic and they're in love. i adore this article because it pokes holes in the autism stereotypes. the first developmental pediatrician we saw at Seattle Children's Hospital was very careful to point that out - that autism and affection aren't necessarily contradictory, for one.

wooden sarcophages found in egyptian tomb.

oldest english words identified.

snowed today with possibility of more snow. kid is home today. fortunately all the stuff i had to do outside the apartment is already done. and i resecheduled my therapy appointment. (still do not especially want to go as it eats up my entire afternoon for something that i can't guarantee will work, but ... eh. should probably try it i suppose. maybe it won't be so bad. meh.)

(i was thinking about it, actually: i think one of the things i don't like about it in retrospect is the whole 'passive listening/"witnessing" thing that happened the last couple of times - a lot of affirming that x y z happened and it happens to lots of people and it sucks that it happened to you? and i'm thinking, dude, i can get that for less money from my friendslist. what i was/am looking for is something more concrete, i suppose. this guy's literature bills him as 'stress management'. so maybe that's less with the mm-hmming. i hope so, because i'm not interested in that.)

anyway. coffee nomnom.
phinnia: an upside down picture of seaners, laughing (seaners-laughing)
Today it is midwinter break. (parenthetical note the first: i cannot type 'midwinter' any more without an effort; my fingers want to type [livejournal.com profile] mydwynter.)

The child is home from school.

We need cat food.

Chris is on a deadline and as such will not be home until late.

All of this adds up to 'it is time to test an outing with the little one, the wheelchair, and me.'

i hope this works.

(parenthetical note the second: fortunately the pet food store is close enough for me to walk with him and bring food home in a backpack should we have some difficulties. so the cats will not starve, nor will they eat me for not providing food.)

I'm kind of nervous. mostly because of the elevator. i know there is room for both of us in it. i just am not sure how to direct him properly and steer the wheelchair in at the same time. but i will figure it out somehow, because i have to.

If this works we will have more freedom to go to the park, to the library, etc etc.

I want to make this work.

I'm still nervous.

(footnote: this is not much of an adventure by global standards. but i'm worried about it. it's kind of boring. i feel the need to apologise for some reason. my free-floating anxiety is ramping up these past few days and i'm not sure why. carry on.)

(son of footnote: i have a semi-new kid-icon. it's one of three that are actual pictures from my life. i find it interesting that i'm very much ME in this LJ but there are only three frequently used pictures from my life in it. maybe it's because i'm something of an escapist by nature. or maybe it's because I'd rather see a picture of RSL than a picture of me, because i don't see myself as visually interesting most of the time. something to think about.)

(redheaded stepchild of footnote: i have many random pendants; i wear one most days, and usually they're chosen at random. I wore my wise mama (somewhat not worksafe: it's art, but it has boobs) pendant today, whick i try to wear when i'm doing important kid-things - it's kind of a talisman/reminder that it's okay to have/be this part of my life (and it has a tree of knowledge on the back.) i randomly picked that up today. maybe it'll help.)
phinnia: smiling dolphin face (house/OMGolivia)
1. I spent seven years as a vegetarian. It started as a reaction to a badly done cut of meat (i don't remember what type it was now) and ended because of bacon. I still don't eat a lot of meat, and I like to buy local when I can. As far as bacon, I'm terribly spoiled by our local butcher's bacon and frequently refuse to buy anything else. (The backup bacon pusher is a local german deli who has double-smoked bacon.)

2. I hate the fact that I'm not currently working more than anything, because I really do believe in Linda Hirschman's philosophy that women have a responsibility to keep their work history and skills current. I keep applying for jobs but so far nothing's bothered to even call me. This leads to more self-loathing than I can adequately describe.

3. I love to write; I've always wanted to write. But I keep wrestling with the feeling that I need another, more "responsible" job. This leads to even more self-loathing. I really don't like myself very much. I try to hide it as much as I can, but it's really difficult.

4. My legs are spastic - stiff and difficult to move - and my arms and fingers are hypermobile.

5. My first major in college was film. I adore film history and I'm really excellent at writing about it. I wanted to do screenwriting because it was the closest I could get to writing. Again with the 'responsible' job. I would love to review films but - yeah, that again with the not-calling me back/not-finding a job doing it to even apply for.
and twenty more. )

psa

Jan. 12th, 2009 02:09 pm
phinnia: smiling dolphin face (waves/splash!)
A dear friend of mine is doing a one-card tarot draw right now: if you're interested in that sort of thing I'd recommend her, because she's one of three people i trust to read my cards. Her post is here. <3

Today I'm trying to focus (preferably on writing).. I have done a whole bunch of things about going back to school (found out what form i need to fill out; found out the holds on my record in order to make them go away, etc. Am also looking for ways to get money coming in to make this whole process take less time. If I can relax enough to actually write I can submit more stuff to markets. nts: find market for microfiction; apply for writing jobs/gigs on craigslist. If anyone knows which temp agencies in Seattle don't suck too badly please let me know. I'll pretty much do anything except telemarketing.

Also: Bishop Gene Robinson will be leading opening prayer at Obama's inaugaration.

huh.

Jan. 10th, 2009 04:16 pm
phinnia: sandman quote with fish (delirium/fish)
I have a sudden compulsion to sit down, read all of Neil Gaiman's Sandman series, then write fanfic in that universe.

Interesting. I'm usually too terrified to do that sort of thing, but I think I might be able to handle it at some point.

Maybe if this keeps up I can do Yuletide next year instead of running in fear because my usual suspects are too big to qualify.

My brainz, they is weird

Although I won't get it done today, so today's writing will have to come from somewhere else.
phinnia: smiling dolphin face (magic road)
Thank you, so much, to everyone who helped spread the word and/or voted yesterday. It really means a lot to me. The top three raniking issues in each category will be presented to the president-elect on 16 January. And it's important to make this issue visible. The system is so, so broken.

I've actually been to change.gov and reviewed the policies that are listed under 'autism', and they're excellent: early screening for all children (as infants and at age two), more money going toward research and treatment options; other disabilities have similar agendas. The reason this is important specifically is that it's an issue that may be overlooked unless you've been in the 'system' and that it's an issue that needs to be addressed.

The original post is here. You don't need to be a citizen of the US to vote, either. Please link to that post and get the word spread around. I emailed the PTA communications director (yes, I really did) in order to get distribution on the school listserv. Chris got the original email from Microsoft's autism listserv. I know quite a few of you have young kids; y'all can benefit from this too. You never know what might happen down the road.

Okay, soapbox over. Thanks, guys. It means a lot to me.




Other links:

From a few people on my list: CDC quietly revises their previous 'death by obesity' statistics. Instead of 400,000 people it was 26,000, and there were other comorbid issues with that group.

Um, yeah. Let's just slip that retraction quietly in there. It's not like that's IMPORTANT or anything, except WAIT. it is. *seethe*

(note: I am a person with an eating disorder (recovered, haven't in years, but I'm a person with an eating disorder in the same way that recovering alcoholics are still alcoholics). I know some of you have dieting filters - sadly I can't remember who does and who doesn't, otherwise I would have dealt with people personally - as it is I quickly skim past, which is why I forget who does and who doesn't have one. If you have a filter where you talk about dieting, can you please remove me? It's knd of triggery. Thank you.)

Also, I know too many people who have had their lives affected by cancer. I love this subversive cross stitch - and it's been slightly altered to include fibromyalgia, and could easily be tweaked to any number of things.




I'm sitting around in my pyjamas. My pyjamas are awesome - they're dark blue with snow-globes for every state on them - but I should really finish my coffee and get moving. I've got stuff to do today. Mostly boring chores and then some writing, but everything needs done.

clickies

Dec. 22nd, 2008 12:19 pm
phinnia: dolphins leaping out of the box from 4.1 "Alone" (house/dolphinbox wilson)
dolphins wield tools of the sea.

giant stinking flower reveals a hot secret.

(both from the most excellent [livejournal.com profile] brightflashes)

from my favorite nutritional anthropologist, [livejournal.com profile] razzle: traditional holiday foods across europe.

and from the bestest 'Licia in the whole wide world: Librarophiliac Love Letter: a comopendium of beautiful libraries.

Real Soon Now(™) the landlord is coming fo fix our toilet.

... eventually.

also: heard from neuro/psych - did a phone appt. due to the snow. He discussed my meds and is making changes to them, and he gave me the name of a psychiatrist which I've called and left a message for.

eta: landlord had to take his wife to work, road conditions were stupid. He's going out now to get the grab bars (one for each end of the tub, plus some nonskid stuff) and will be installing them tommorow. YAY i can shower without a babysitter again! rock the fuck ON.
phinnia: b&w picture of spoons. text "i have measured out my life in coffee spoons" (coffee spoons)
Nothing is more likely to make me want to do something than deciding that I want to do something else. It never fails. I decided on the pastry school program. I had a great list of reasons! (it's creative, it's something I've always wanted to do, it's going to be really close to the new apartment - like about four blocks or thereabouts, it's a little less expensive, it's shorter - five quarters instead of eight ...)

And so I phoned and got myself put on the list. I have everything all filled out, all the testing is done, etc. etc. Now I just wait, and change my contact information when I move, and make sure periodically I'm on the right list (because it's a popular program and it's limited-space every year). They're closing the program due to massive building renovations for two quarters next year, so I'm on the list for fall 2009. Everything's good, right?

Apparently not. Now that I've made that decision, my brain starts iterating over all the reasons the other one would have been a better idea and how dumb I am for deciding this idea was any good at all and how I am either going to a) fail or 2) never have time to do anything else that I enjoy doing EVAR AGAIN because the job will eat all of my free time every single day.

I do not understand myself. My brain is broken. There is something obviously wrong with it. (actually yes, there is - this is a typical display of atypical depression. Which is such a stupid name for it.)




Seaners had a little party with his class today (his birthday is tomorrow); he brought home one of those talking cards (it startled me) and a really adorable stuffed seal cub. He came home, had a snack and then fell asleep curled up in a ball on his sofa.

(tomorrow we will have warm fruit and gluten free brownies instead of cake, and I think that will make him happy, because those are two of his favorite things. <3)

I still can't believe he's almost seven. <3

I suddenly feel old and panicky for no reason. AUGH BRAIN STOPPIT. *medicates brain into submission, or at least some form of behaving*
phinnia: sandman quote with fish (delirium/fish)
today I:
Did some writing
Organized my knitting needles in the holder I bought from [livejournal.com profile] starsong.
Read some bits of 'Discover'. Apparently my brain is enjoying microfiction (my girl bought me microfiction as a present because she is awesome) graphic novels and magazines at the moment. Could be far worse.
snuggled with dorky cat
Found one of my scribble-it-down notebooks; discovered there's some pretty good stuff in there.
set up a trial account at lumosity. (that is a seriously nifty site. am seriously pondering springing for one year membership. my brain feels good and stretchy.)
bit by another ficbunny.

tomorrow: PT, then botox, then coffee shop for an hour or two, then House assuming it's safe again. hate busy days like that but at least this week there are only two.

need a vacation, so badly. will have to settle for coffee and an afternoon showing of 'burn after reading' on thursday. growing sick of settling, but sadly there's no end to it in sight.

totally amazing clickie from the totally amazing [livejournal.com profile] foxestacado: second shark 'virgin birth'.

i still want to learn so many things but can't really justify going back to school right now. learning things seems easier to justify when it's in pursuit of a magical piece of paper. (sad commentary on society, that) right now I just feel like a dilettante, or like I'm playing at something to distract myself from the real world but that will have no real life application, and it bothers me. Cannot understand self on this issue. This is a particular problem with languages, because I want to learn some and get better at the ones I know, but there's no application in real life right now so it feels fruitless. why do I think this way? don't know. worth examining I suppose. brain, you so freaking crazy.

i suppose if nothing else I can call it research for ... something. the novel as yet-to-be-written.

Adopt one today! Adopt one today! Adopt one today! Adopt one today!
phinnia: smiling dolphin face (house/wilson-antidepressants)
Neuro/psych appointment took over four hours. Nearly two hours of paperwork, an hour and change seeing the actual doctor and the rest for blood testing. Five vials of blood + a urine sample; I go back in ten days for two hours of more paperwork (this time on computer) and to be fitted for an ambulatory EEG which takes place over the weekend.

...

wow.

He's tapering me off the paxil (among other things it's also interfering with my absorption of pain medication. good times) which I should be off of around Christmas. Replacing that with a lower dose of celexa and eventually something called buspar that I'm not familiar with. The rest will be discussed after the blood test/EEG results are in.

Brainmeats scorecard: severe atypical depression, moderate generalized anxiety, moderate social anxiety, obsessive rumination (no compulsion), profound insomnia, severe fatigue. Really nothing I didn't know except that the depression is worse than I thought, but that's why it's atypical I suppose.

All in all a satisfying day.
phinnia: smiling dolphin face (house/wilson-antidepressants)
OMG. I am complicated enough for the psychiatrist/neurologist! He had a cancellation next week! MAYBE SOMEONE WILL ACTUALLY FIX MY MEDS!
phinnia: smiling dolphin face (rumi/future better than my past)
I ordered a copy of the dr. bronner documentary film today. I'd seen it some months back with [livejournal.com profile] seattlejo but I wanted a copy for myself - I went for the DVD + soap package (I prefer watching movies on my TV whenever possible, and I do like their soap, it was a pretty sweet deal) but they have the movie up for download for a fairly small fee ($8 I think? might be less). It's really worth the money if you like documentaries or even just quirky movies - he lived a fascinating life and he was indeed certifiable.




Clickie from the most excellent [livejournal.com profile] purplewaxhand: IVR hacks. To get around those damnable voice recordings on phone systems. Good stuff.




Slept until 11:30 today. Managed to straighten out apartment ... vaguely. Still have laundry to fold and boxes to take down to recycling area. I hate sleeping so late but the body insists on it. I feel like Pizpot Gargravarr from 'Restaurant at the End of the Universe' except my arguments never involve sex and fishing, they involve sleep versus having a damn life. Just - augh. It's starting to really get to me.

Also, still have not heard back from psychiatrist types. Really need to find someone soon. Do not want to go calling through all $HUGE_VAL psychiatrists in the Premera directory. Anyone have any recommendations? Seattle preferred but busable parts of the surrounding area might be okay for the right person.

I hate this. I really, really, really hate this. So much. The body and mind are unstable and at odds, I don't have enough time to do the things I want, pain and tiredness. Hate this.




I'll be scarce tomorrow - still not watching House and trying to avoid spoilers. Will be scarce from messengers tonight for the same reason. I have it on reasonable authority that the sad storyline that's really bugging me will be at its conclusion with the new episode on the 14th of October, so I'll be back in the loop then. (brain is panic-level unstable about this. hate it. so much. there's a tiny little voice in the back of my mind that wants to say people are laughing at me, even though I know the ones that matter aren't. I will distract this voice, somehow. Possibly by throwing a movie and knitting project at it.




Adopt one today! Adopt one today! Adopt one today!
phinnia: smiling dolphin face (warthog faced buffoon)
Dear Twits on the Phones at Outpatient Psychiatry:

If you cannot see the referral, then one of two things happened: either they lost it or you did. Considering your response when I asked you about this referral was, and I quote: 'are you sure that he sent the referral to our clinic? i have his name here, he's sent referrals to *iterates over six other clinics*. are you sure he sent the referral to our clinic? this is outpatient psychiatry.' I am betting that YOU lost the referral.

I am perfectly aware of what department I am calling, and my doctor is a BIG BOY who can WRITE HIS NAME NOW, EVEN ON REFERRAL SLIPS TO LOTS AND LOTS OF CLNICS. JUST BECAUSE HE HAS WROTE THOSE REFERRALS DOES NOT MEAN HE DID NOT WRITE MINE. IN FACT, I DO NOT KNOW WHAT IT DOES MEAN, EXCEPT THAT YOU ARE AN IDIOT.

I am half ready to call INPATIENT PSYCHIATRY just to get this DEALT WITH IN A TIMELY FASHION if y'all don't GET ON THE BALL.

L.
phinnia: smiling dolphin face (cultural flux sign)
What's the point of Facebook? It seems to be getting quite popular but I still fail to understand why. You can't really do much with it except turn people into zombies or whateveritis.




I have spent most of the past few hours playing with my new ball winder and yarn swift. They are named Denna and Richard, respectively. I have so far wound most of a ball of yarn; my mind is actually quite calm except for the niggling part that keeps pointing out what else we could have done with those four hours.

I swear if there weren't guilt in the world I wouldn't know what to do with myself.

Adopt one today! Adopt one today!

(the other two wee dragons/eggs are 'hidden' due to sickness.)
phinnia: asian person demonstrating proper use of facemask (birdflu)
Bad day. Actually this is like, the third in the past four that I've had to pop klonopin to stay even remotely on an even keel. Damnit. Time to haul my broken self back to the shrink. (Yes, [livejournal.com profile] tallin, I already phoned and left a message with intake, before you ask me).

I don't even really know what's wrong this time. I'm just feeling unstable again.

Bah. Damned broken brain.

Kid is WHINING. Just under eighteen hours until school bus time.

Called rheumathology. Still no word on my file. Am getting sick of this crap. Plan on staging a sit-in next week if resolution is not forthcoming.




the odd shoes gallery, from my darling [livejournal.com profile] mirrormargaret.

tiny house blog, from the marvelous [livejournal.com profile] tsuki_no_bara. SO CUTE. there's part of me that wants to live in one. there's another part of me (the packrat part) that realizes the utter impossibility of this. I desperately love the artists' studios though. Do want.

This is absolutely fascinating: Japan's professional seducers. I'm enthralled and boggled. <3

Adopt one today! Adopt one today! Adopt one today!
phinnia: smiling dolphin face (friendlyhostility/oh god not again)
clickies:

swedish magazine recalled when recipe poisons four people.

This is really neat: A monopoly board storage box. <3

cute and funny animals

huggable light.

Interview with House writer Doris Egan. True confession: I am still worried about Season Five (for god's sake DO NOT TELL ME SPOILERS I DO NOT WANT SPOILERS OKAY?) and I will undoubtedly be worried about season five until ... about season six. I do not do well with sadness, angst, strife, disrupted friendships or dramatic tension. I realize this means I should not watch or read anything more complicated than Dr. Seuss and that I probably suck, but that's the way I hang. (and yes, i know i wrote angst yesterday. *sigh* The brain, it is INCOMPREHENSIBLE. I have a consistent tic in my left hand and I keep falling asleep and seeing scarily vivid things that I start to reach for and then wake up.

Here. Click some things for me if you want to make me feel less pathetic. *sigh*

Adopt one today! Adopt one today! Adopt one today! Adopt one today!
phinnia: smiling dolphin face (house/house-wilson o_O)
good god. it's mutating still. <3 this is part 3. god, this thing needs a tag. it's clearly not ending.
Still needs a title, desperately, otherwise it'll just continue to be known as 'the mutant plotbunny with fangs'. Which is at the very least not descriptive.

Edit: AHA. Thanks to [livejournal.com profile] dominus_trinus and [livejournal.com profile] queenzulu this actually has a title now. <3 "Performative Nonnormative: The House Variations". Which is a bit of a mouthful but it makes me utterly squeeful.
adventures at the mall. )
phinnia: smiling dolphin face (house/honeybear wilson)
Wow, this odd little thing appears to be gathering a following. <3
ANYWAY When we last left our heroes (note: if you haven't done already, read that part first.) they were in Wilson's office.

God, the plot bunny is mutating and growing. It also needs a title. Suggestions are not only welcome but encouraged.
wilson felt a certain inexplicable need to defend his gender. )
phinnia: smiling dolphin face (house/house is right la la)
This will probably fail.
Edit: it has already failed. it's mutating. oh god.
anyway - i had this plotbunny last week - yes, i know genderfuck has been done before. (noteably by [livejournal.com profile] thedeadparrot, who does marvelous crack) but i got thinking 'why is it that wilson always turns into a woman, or everyone's gender gets switched? so - yeah. here you are. wherein wilson flirts, there is yelling, and partial nudity, and coffee.
the woman in the parking lot. )

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January 2013

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