For years, my mother bought me green birthday cakes, with shamrocks and such on them. When I finally objected, she bought me a "Muppets" cake with Kermit the Frog on it. I now strenuously object to any cake with a green theme for my birthday. I also object to cupcakes with green frosting or mint chocolate chip ice cream.

I'm wearing a sort of green today because it happens to be what I pulled out of the drawer. In a minute I intend to go find my favorite St. Patrick's Day button. It says "Pinch Me and You're Dead Meat".

Oddly enough, however, one year a friend of mine gave me a live shamrock for my birthday and I was utterly thrilled. Have you ever seen one? They constantly move and turn their leaves toward the light. It's very cool.