god, not again.

[phinnia]

Dear Child's Teacher:

The kid has a WART. It is not a weeping chancre. It is not EBOLA. It is not a LIMB ABOUT TO DROP THE FUCK OFF IN YOUR LUNCH. It is a WART. And what's more, it's a goddamn DEAD WART. Because you freaked the goddamn hell out and so we had to drag the child to the doctor and practically sit on him so we could ATTACK HIM WITH LIQUID NITROGEN so he wouldn't have OMGWTFBBQ WART. I should have made YOU do it. Considering YOU were the one with the PROBLEM.

Also! The sore on the kid's lip is a COLD SORE. It is FINE. I have had them ALL MY LIFE. AGAIN. NOT WEEPING CHANCRE. NOT EBOLA. NOT LEAPING NIGERIAN CROTCH ROT. OKAY? A COLD SORE. DEAL. If you even THINK about making me keep this child home whenever those pop up I will HAUNT YOUR ASS, because I will PROBABLY BE DEAD FROM CRAZY.

In other words! STOP EMAILING ME IN A PANIC, YOU TWIT.

And if I hear ONE THING about you being A MEDICALLY FRAGILE SITE I will come down there and INTRODUCE MY CRUTCHES TO YOUR APPENDIX. PERSONALLY. I think your school nurse is on CRACK and so are YOU. You have already sent home the child when he was NOT SICK one too many times, and I am LOSING PATIENCE. ONE THING. GO ON. FEEL FREE TO TEMPT ME IF YOU LIKE.

Comments

[bluerosefairy.livejournal.com]

Oh, hon. I completely feel for your kidlet (and you). Because little-kid me has both been there and done that. Cold sores run in my family, so combined with the massive amounts of warts I suddenly developed all over my left hand around 3rd - 6th grade, I was fucking terrified of school, liquid nitrogen, and the inevitable questions from the teachers (and teasing from the students) every year. No, I don't have skin lesions. Yes, they're cold sores. Yes, I've gotten them treated.

God, the worst thing you can do is to freak the hell out and make the kid feel even worse. You have far more restraint than I!

[phinnia.livejournal.com]

Fortunately Seaners doesn't seem to care much about other people's thinking (which is sometimes annoying, but other times quite the blessing in disguise). But oh god, yes. *pets little-kid you*