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performative nonnormative: the house variations (5-?)
title: Performative Nonnormative: The House Variations (5-?)
author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
phinnia
rating: r for themes
disclaimer: i own nothing except the strangely performing braincells that came up with this crazy thing.
author's note: i am so, so, so sorry that this took so LONG. my life kind of fell apart rather badly and I'm just now getting it back together for the most part. so sorry. for those new to the program, updates 1-4 are here. you should read those first.
"Where did you get it?" Wilson backed away, his eyes locked on the book as though it was going to leap off the bed and bite him.
"Ebay."
"You bought a sex changing book on ebay?"
"Well, it's not like it said that in the auction." House replied irritably, scowling. "I wouldn't have bought it if it had actually said 'this book's going to literally turn your balls inside out, so you might wanna read with rubber gloves on'. It was supposedly an ancient Greek medical text."
"Rubber gloves?"
"Ran into the mailman this morning. He's still a male man, if you get my meaning; clearly the problem is either on or in the book."
"Fair enough."
House started fidgeting, picking up the book again and flipping through it; Wilson took a few wary steps backwards. "It's probably something in the book, but I don't know what. I just started the translation last night before I fell asleep." Wilson could see some of House's margin notes scrawled in soft pencil, and a folded sheet of notebook paper peeked out between two early pages. "I can't find anything strange about the book itself, so it must be the subject matter ... "
"Maybe I should sleep here." Wilson blurted.
House looked up sharply.
"In case something else happens. I mean, you just started in on it last night and this happens ... what if ..." he spread his hands apart, shrugging. "You know, something else happens."
"On the couch." House grumbled, absorbed in the book again.
"Of course, of course. I'll just ... get us some food, okay?"
An absent-minded nod was House's only reply.
*
The evening was awkward and Wilson couldn't figure out why. It wasn't that different from sitting around at House's place normally: on the sofa, House's face set in determination while scouring a book, mindless television in the background, idle chat.
Except it wasn't the same.
He felt awkward. The room felt hot, oppressive; he didn't know where to put his hands, felt extra-conscious of his knees and elbows and the placement of his body. He found himself stealing glances at House - House had always looked striking, with his piercing blue eyes and inexplicable grace and that sharp, biting wit, but now ...
His train of thought was interrupted by a soft moan. Before he could even think he was on his feet again, halfway down the hall. "House? Are you okay, honey?"
"Fine!" Her voice was strained, tense. Wilson pushed the door open -
And was confronted with House, her curls sprawling every which way on the pillow and her eyes brilliant in the dark. The blankets were tangled; he could see the curve of one calf in the glow of the plugged-in nightlight and enough of a breast to suggest she was sleeping mostly, if not entirely, naked. One hand was gripping the pillow, and the other was hidden under the blanket -
... oh.
"Get the fuck out of here." she hissed, high spots of colour barely visible in the dim lighting.
"Going, going, sorry, so sorry." Wilson yanked the door shut and buried his face in his hands, glaring sharply through his fingers at his half-awake cock.
"And don't ever call me honey again." House shouted from beyond the door.
"Sorry, I won't, I'm sorry."
He crept back to bed, but it was a long while before he could sleep.
author:
phinniarating: r for themes
disclaimer: i own nothing except the strangely performing braincells that came up with this crazy thing.
author's note: i am so, so, so sorry that this took so LONG. my life kind of fell apart rather badly and I'm just now getting it back together for the most part. so sorry. for those new to the program, updates 1-4 are here. you should read those first.
"Where did you get it?" Wilson backed away, his eyes locked on the book as though it was going to leap off the bed and bite him.
"Ebay."
"You bought a sex changing book on ebay?"
"Well, it's not like it said that in the auction." House replied irritably, scowling. "I wouldn't have bought it if it had actually said 'this book's going to literally turn your balls inside out, so you might wanna read with rubber gloves on'. It was supposedly an ancient Greek medical text."
"Rubber gloves?"
"Ran into the mailman this morning. He's still a male man, if you get my meaning; clearly the problem is either on or in the book."
"Fair enough."
House started fidgeting, picking up the book again and flipping through it; Wilson took a few wary steps backwards. "It's probably something in the book, but I don't know what. I just started the translation last night before I fell asleep." Wilson could see some of House's margin notes scrawled in soft pencil, and a folded sheet of notebook paper peeked out between two early pages. "I can't find anything strange about the book itself, so it must be the subject matter ... "
"Maybe I should sleep here." Wilson blurted.
House looked up sharply.
"In case something else happens. I mean, you just started in on it last night and this happens ... what if ..." he spread his hands apart, shrugging. "You know, something else happens."
"On the couch." House grumbled, absorbed in the book again.
"Of course, of course. I'll just ... get us some food, okay?"
An absent-minded nod was House's only reply.
*
The evening was awkward and Wilson couldn't figure out why. It wasn't that different from sitting around at House's place normally: on the sofa, House's face set in determination while scouring a book, mindless television in the background, idle chat.
Except it wasn't the same.
He felt awkward. The room felt hot, oppressive; he didn't know where to put his hands, felt extra-conscious of his knees and elbows and the placement of his body. He found himself stealing glances at House - House had always looked striking, with his piercing blue eyes and inexplicable grace and that sharp, biting wit, but now ...
His train of thought was interrupted by a soft moan. Before he could even think he was on his feet again, halfway down the hall. "House? Are you okay, honey?"
"Fine!" Her voice was strained, tense. Wilson pushed the door open -
And was confronted with House, her curls sprawling every which way on the pillow and her eyes brilliant in the dark. The blankets were tangled; he could see the curve of one calf in the glow of the plugged-in nightlight and enough of a breast to suggest she was sleeping mostly, if not entirely, naked. One hand was gripping the pillow, and the other was hidden under the blanket -
... oh.
"Get the fuck out of here." she hissed, high spots of colour barely visible in the dim lighting.
"Going, going, sorry, so sorry." Wilson yanked the door shut and buried his face in his hands, glaring sharply through his fingers at his half-awake cock.
"And don't ever call me honey again." House shouted from beyond the door.
"Sorry, I won't, I'm sorry."
He crept back to bed, but it was a long while before he could sleep.
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Oh, God, Wilson's thinking of House as his wife now, isn't he?
An absent-minded nod was his only reply.
It's interesting how Wilson thinks of House as male when they're discussing the sex change, but female when... well.
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and yes, very likely - or at least girlfriend/needy person of the week. <3
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ZOMG. "Are you okay, honey?" I think House should castrate Wilson for that.
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I look forward to seeing how House's sex change affects his relationship with Wilson, now that his femininity has made him safe to think about in a romantic/erotic context. This is ideal for Wilson, actually: a woman with whom he has an emotional basis as well as physical attraction (provided he doesn't lay the chivalry and charm on too thick, in which case House will clobber him). Of course, when House changes back, I anticipate fireworks. Possibly of more than one kind. *grin* (And if you go that way, I absolutely trust you to handle any heterosexual activity between them with skill, wit and just the right touch of humor.)
Also, absolutely no surprise re. what Wilson walked in on--as long as he has to walk a mile in the opposite sex's uncomfortably pointy shoes, why shouldn't House enjoy the good bits? (Beautiful description of him in the bed, by the way.) I loved that he was completely unselfconscious and unapologetic about it, too--completely in character for him, and a very nice finish.
Hope to see more of this soon!
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I have the next bit sketched out in my head; hopefully there won't be any more massive gaps in time. <3
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you got the characters way better than a lot of fics i've seen. they either make wilson too feminine or they make house not mean enough.
yours is perfect though. xD
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(Also? "Bedrooms and Hallways" icon FTW!)
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ultraviolet fizzy craig wee.
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"Are you okay, honey?"
What? Oh, Wilson... *facepalm*
I completely get what House is doing there. If I turned into a guy, what I'd do, apart from freaking out, is just that.
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hopefully there won't be any more huge gaps. I have the next part sketched out in my head. I'm hoping for a weekly update thing if I can manage it. <3
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I'm hoping for a weekly update thing. At least there will hopefully not be huge massive gaps like that again. I'm not happy with my life falling apart, it makes so many things so damned inconvenient.
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Love how Wilson automatically thinks of House as his wife (the "honey" thing)& checks outs teh boobies :D
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LOL'd at the mail man still being a male man. Great pun, how apt!
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Please continue, this is fucking hilarious and I love it. I missed this story!
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he's having such a TIME of this, isn't he? hehe. I think he'd better go grab some alone-time while House has hers, or he might go a'splodey. or do something even more foolish. ;)
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I think it's very typical of House to, um, test the new equipment XD
It's so great to see more of this story.
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<3
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It's funny how more awkward it is for Wilson than for House. ;)
I loved their banters in the previous parts as well - which apparentely I had never read before.
I hope you write more of this. :)
Sorry for your real life problems - I hope things get better soon.
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I'm glad you like it! It's got its fangs in me and won't let go, now. I'm hoping for a weekly update schedule, so if things go well this weekend I'll have the next part in a few days.
And thanks, hon. *huggles* They're getting better. It's just a little slow. :p
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"I wouldn't have bought it if it had actually said 'this book's going to literally turn your balls inside out, so you might wanna read with rubber gloves on. It was supposedly an ancient Greek medical text."
after "gloves on".
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