and after: a tale in 100 words

[phinnia]

light scattershot through the blinds; shining prison-bar tattooed across lean muscles. the day continues blissfully unaware as she sleeps deeply enough for both of us.

i trace the long lines of her - the blossoming curve of hips waist shoulders, the soft cup of a breast. she turns and the darkened nipple is revealed. i dare to kiss it, my tongue flickering out.

"What time is it?" Her voice is thickened by sleep and a hand with bitten nails tangles its way through her hair. "Time to go?"

The lie falls easily from my mouth. "Not yet, love. Not yet."

Comments

[magie-05.livejournal.com]

<3

This is so sensual but there's also this beautifully subtle tension/nervousness there, so that we can interpret the situation/characters without it ever being stated.

In other words, you're AMAZING <3

[shutterbug-12.livejournal.com]

This really is beautiful. My favorite sentence is the last one in the first paragraph. It communicates a lot and I really adore it.

A question, though. Just one about your style. Do you purposefully not capitalize words or leave out punctuation? I'm just wondering if this is a stylistic choice and, if so, why you made it.

[gows.livejournal.com]

Wow. LOVE THIS.

[presocratic.livejournal.com]

Gorgeous, just full of imagery. I can almost feel the sun through the blinds. <3

[lilyleia78]

This is pure poetry in prose. That's a big wallop you've packed into 100 words. Lovely, lovely job.

[daisylily.livejournal.com]

I love your writing.

[accidentprawn.livejournal.com]

That's so beautiful :)

[natalief.livejournal.com]

Beautiful!