just keep swimming

[phinnia]

Still more depressed/maudlin than baseline. Stupid Paxil. down to 5mg daily; in two weeks it'll be 5mg/every other day, and then it'll be GONE FROM MY LIFE and I should really have a party.

(note: this experience with paxil is by no means a reason for others not to take antidepressants. i was seriously overdosed, but I'm mostly better now and on other more appropriate antidepressants. i believe in better living through chemistry. Me not on meds is not something anyone should experience. i'm still ashamed/embarassed by things i did without them even though i was seriously not thinking straight. this is a public service announcement from me. I'll be justifying quite a few things these days, because frankly this is really difficult*. sorry for the inconvenience.)

Don't know if I want to go to lecture tonight. Have babysitter anyway; will decide at last minute. (hate dealing with this particular babysitter as i never know if i'm getting through to her. oh well.)

clickies:

From the continually awesome bishojo_kitsune: surgeons use twitter in operating room.

From the forever excellent mactavish, a few: arkansas and five other states ban atheists from public service. ... do they not REALIZE this is discrimination? i mean, it's completely obvious to anyone with half a brain, but large numbers of politicians don't fall into that category, sadly enough.

And also The Long View. Pictures of Christchurch, NZ and Antarctica. (i can stop any time, i'm not obsessed) (much) (okay, i'm lying, i am, but it's not like it's cocaine).

One from my girl machineplay dancing wheelchair. No, really, it's very cool, you should watch the video.

* read: very difficult means 'oh god this is hell. i will be justifying everything, which is very irrational and yet i do it anyway.

Comments

[cindy-lou-who8.livejournal.com]

*makes mental note to never take Paxil*

What is your position/opinion on Cymbalta?

Edit: Also did you ever get that link I twitted you, with the dolphin?

[phinnia.livejournal.com]

re: link - YES! i did. and thanked you effusively which may well have been eaten <3 it was great.
re: Cymbalta - never taken it personally; have had friends who have taken it. reports have been mixedish tending toward good. (for the best reports of side effects check out Crazymeds (http://crazymeds.us).) Did they finally put you on something for your pain/baseline anxiety? Jesus fucking Christ it's about damn time.)
Paxil is good for some people; it used to be good for me. Then I was seriously overdosed due to an idiot attending, proving that my insurance also covers total fucking idiots (between it and the Celexa, which is similar enough to be more or less chemically the same, I was taking 100mg/day and that was fucking me up HARDCORE. It's also the WORST SSRI to go off of: see Crazymeds for why. <3)

[cindy-lou-who8.livejournal.com]

Good I am glad you got it. I was wondering, but yes I love how Twitter denies posts for wacky reasons, idk.

No they haven't added anything yet, but I am going to ask next time I go b/c it isn't getting any better unfortunately.

Wow 100mg? Damn, that is a lot.

[taiga13.livejournal.com]

My doctor put me on Paxil once. Oh my God, what a horror show. I lasted two weeks.
After that they tried Effexor and Wellbutrin, but it made my blood pressure skyrocket. My doctor kept telling me it was a rare side effect, as if I was doing it on purpose. Bitch. Anyway, they switched me to Cipralex and it's much better. No side effects.

[phinnia.livejournal.com]

Wellbutrin, for me, was one enormous panic attack. i took it for about six days and quit, it was so horrible.