how has the day failed? let me count the ways

in the ways of our intermittently functioning hot water heater (which, btw, has been located and was behind the stove of all goddamned places) we had enough hot water for one shower. Which meant that tallin and I showered together and it got cold about 2/3 of the way through.

god knows when it's going to be fixed. hoopefully soon.

i have to reschedule his audiology appt because of all this shit that's happened and i'm fresh out of cope and time. i'd reschedule myown dr's appointment except i desperately need more panic pills.

i'm afraid my glasses perscription may need readjusting again which means moar appts.

i have not shaved my legs in ages and i look like a yeti

sean missed his bus so chris has to take him to school on the way to work

his lunchbag went missing

(horrible mother alert) the new teacher is giving the kids 'homework' and since in this class the kids are all sped that essentially means that we have to do it,so we have to read five books to him and lately i'm luckky to have five minutes to rub together.

i'm falling asleep but i really need more nopanic meds because the house premiere is tonigh an AUGH.

really not of much interest to non-housefandom people

As probably most of you know due to my ridiculous whining and bawling I'm really spooked and depressed about the season 5 intro. Largely because it looks to be at least moderately dramatic/angsty. I'm not a fan of that sort of thing for a reason.
Fandom is my escape from a lot of things: the fact that my pain is getting worse, the fact that I really don't know what I'm doing with myself now or really ever, the fact that I'm currently in a medical holding pattern for an unknown period of time, the kid is a black box as to what his future is and I really think I'm dropping into a pretty heavy depression at the moment. My escape is not really acting too escape-y.

(this is not said by any means to get attention. what i'm trying to say is that i'm not 100% sure i'm going to be watching tonight. i'm not joking; i really have been crying for days.)

But I still love all of you.

<3,
Phin