look at me still talking when there's science to do

Again, a really good day. as much as this 'insisting on getting off internet and to bed by/at 10pm feels kind of annoying socially, i'm getting much better sleep and am able to get up earlier, so it's a definite win in the end. I have no plans for the day, which is even better! I'm hoping to actually write. i have a FABULOUS koan in mind for the monastery AU (i have a few saved up but this one is PERFECT and needs to be done SOON) so if you're into the monks you may look forward to that. and there's another awesome fic in the pipeline. and hopefully some original stuff too (that is to be given some attention today).

Annoying thing that might end up being good: they all of a sudden (like, this morning) changed Sean's bus route so that he was dropped off about 20 minutes earlier. This freaked me out, largely because (a) i have things set up appointments-wise that relied on that time being 20 minutes later (and that makes a LOT of difference for those types of things and more coming due to new therapists), (2) i hate hate hate getting no notice for things and (iii) i have things set up a certain way with the old driver accomodationswise.

Calls have been put in with the director of transportation and he is meant to be getting back to us by the end of the day. Because they can't bring the kids to the door except at the end of the route (and me waiting outside for him = problem) they will put him at the end of the route again. may not be today due to trickle-through the pipeline but will definitely be by the end of the week. s'good (esp. since that may be later in the day - he adores bus rides so that's awesome for him too.)

(Also i need to complain about the Assholes today. Will do that soon before i get to doing things).

argh. i cannot stand these 'entrepeneurs' and 'media enthusiasts' and all that that keep adding me on twitter (i darenot say it on twitter because that just leads to more of them). dear people of twitter - if you have added me through a random keyword search i probably don't want anything to do with you.

regarding this teabag thing: i think that standard practice for all buzzwords and media compaigns should be running any possible adwords through a class of fifteen year olds. if they think it's funny, then you should find something else.

clickies today are from bernie_laraemie, gizmometer, mactavish and topaz_eyes.

eNature has TONS of nature guides, including a new version of Sibley's Guide to Birds that's fully online (including birdcalls)!

kutner_love is having a kutnerfest! (i know most of the mods are on my list and i love you all but the first person i saw this from was Topaz. <3 It looks excellent and i'm definitely entering. There are tons of categories <3

for seattle locals: capitol hill's top blossoms apparently this weekend is going to be nice. we may take seaners to cal anderson park on sunday if anyone wants to hang out there with us? not sure what time but we're flexible other than it needs to be over by about 2 because i have an mri late sunday afternoon <3

scots church volunteer is online singing sensation

cheese nips SCRABBLE edition! so much win.

5 cm fir tree removed from patient's lung. OMGWTF!?!

robber gets stuck in shop window

russian city to rename all soviet streets to christmas streets.

dolphins join fight against somali pirates in gulf of aden SO COOL!!

stephen colbert gets consolation prize from nasa he didn't get his name on the space station; but they named a treadmill after him. <3

Seaners got some tea tree oil on his hands today. there was a bit spilled (several drops) and we could smell it all the way in the back. that stuff is STRONG.

i hope you all are having a great day.

good news! the elevator is at the moment working. the previous issues were with contractors: one company turned the elevator off and one (or two?) more did the repairs (i know it's ridiculous. i heard it from the landlord. don't worry if it sounds stupid - it is stupid). from what he was saying all the contractors were actually here yesterday, and chris took the elevator down on his way to work, so with any luck it'll still be working when i go out to my appointment.

clickies have been brought to you today by foxestacado, frankencensy, and irismoonlight.

michelle obama hugs the queen. i heard this on the BBC last night (i woke up freezing at 1:30 when the BBC was on, so while i was warming up i heard them talking about it.) apparently it's some kind of protocol breach, but they both look so sweet and happy. made me smile. <3 And the Queen didn't mind, so. That's the important thing.

UK and Canada make deal to share polar facilities.

when you're in pain you have a right to do less

um, yeah.

i agree with this one. it's just so damn difficult. I like being productive. and i know that if it were anyone else other than me i would agree with it. *sigh* i hate looking at the end of the day and seeing nothing worthwhile in it, and it frustrates me to lower my principles. my issues, let me show you them. I'm trying to do better. *sigh again*

ucsd sends out acceptance letters to wrong list.

sweden overwhelmingly allows same-sex marriage as of next month.

i'm off to the oral surgeon as soon as doubletake gets here: i need a consult for a biopsy for mmy sjogren's test.

( cut for melancholia, same old same old. )
happier things:
yesterday i found a really great coffee shop that's much less crowded than vivace and makes amazing crepes. i had a latte and a lovely crepe with lemon and sugar, filled with strawberries and topped with whipped cream, and i got change back from a ten. i also found a little movie theater basically at the end of our street.

i found the library last week; it's a really nice library and only two or three blocks.

i've been getting some wonderful mail love this week, from adularia and benjimmy. *squeezes both of them* <3

i have many amazing friends. how are you all?

jane_hidell's cat came back! i'm really happy about that. <3

i have a really good view at the end of the block.

( cut for bigness )

brought to you today by machineplay (who is seriously the best girlfriend ever) and cueballex (one of my beloved internet children):

chronic pain hurts the brain, disrupting the default mode network dynamics.

they're autistic and they're in love. i adore this article because it pokes holes in the autism stereotypes. the first developmental pediatrician we saw at Seattle Children's Hospital was very careful to point that out - that autism and affection aren't necessarily contradictory, for one.

wooden sarcophages found in egyptian tomb.

oldest english words identified.

snowed today with possibility of more snow. kid is home today. fortunately all the stuff i had to do outside the apartment is already done. and i resecheduled my therapy appointment. (still do not especially want to go as it eats up my entire afternoon for something that i can't guarantee will work, but ... eh. should probably try it i suppose. maybe it won't be so bad. meh.)

(i was thinking about it, actually: i think one of the things i don't like about it in retrospect is the whole 'passive listening/"witnessing" thing that happened the last couple of times - a lot of affirming that x y z happened and it happens to lots of people and it sucks that it happened to you? and i'm thinking, dude, i can get that for less money from my friendslist. what i was/am looking for is something more concrete, i suppose. this guy's literature bills him as 'stress management'. so maybe that's less with the mm-hmming. i hope so, because i'm not interested in that.)

anyway. coffee nomnom.

1. I spent seven years as a vegetarian. It started as a reaction to a badly done cut of meat (i don't remember what type it was now) and ended because of bacon. I still don't eat a lot of meat, and I like to buy local when I can. As far as bacon, I'm terribly spoiled by our local butcher's bacon and frequently refuse to buy anything else. (The backup bacon pusher is a local german deli who has double-smoked bacon.)

2. I hate the fact that I'm not currently working more than anything, because I really do believe in Linda Hirschman's philosophy that women have a responsibility to keep their work history and skills current. I keep applying for jobs but so far nothing's bothered to even call me. This leads to more self-loathing than I can adequately describe.

3. I love to write; I've always wanted to write. But I keep wrestling with the feeling that I need another, more "responsible" job. This leads to even more self-loathing. I really don't like myself very much. I try to hide it as much as I can, but it's really difficult.

4. My legs are spastic - stiff and difficult to move - and my arms and fingers are hypermobile.

5. My first major in college was film. I adore film history and I'm really excellent at writing about it. I wanted to do screenwriting because it was the closest I could get to writing. Again with the 'responsible' job. I would love to review films but - yeah, that again with the not-calling me back/not-finding a job doing it to even apply for.
( and twenty more. )

I have a sudden compulsion to sit down, read all of Neil Gaiman's Sandman series, then write fanfic in that universe.

Interesting. I'm usually too terrified to do that sort of thing, but I think I might be able to handle it at some point.

Maybe if this keeps up I can do Yuletide next year instead of running in fear because my usual suspects are too big to qualify.

My brainz, they is weird

Although I won't get it done today, so today's writing will have to come from somewhere else.

dolphins wield tools of the sea.

giant stinking flower reveals a hot secret.

(both from the most excellent brightflashes)

from my favorite nutritional anthropologist, razzle: traditional holiday foods across europe.

and from the bestest 'Licia in the whole wide world: Librarophiliac Love Letter: a comopendium of beautiful libraries.

Real Soon Now(™) the landlord is coming fo fix our toilet.

... eventually.

also: heard from neuro/psych - did a phone appt. due to the snow. He discussed my meds and is making changes to them, and he gave me the name of a psychiatrist which I've called and left a message for.

eta: landlord had to take his wife to work, road conditions were stupid. He's going out now to get the grab bars (one for each end of the tub, plus some nonskid stuff) and will be installing them tommorow. YAY i can shower without a babysitter again! rock the fuck ON.

today I:
Did some writing
Organized my knitting needles in the holder I bought from starsong.
Read some bits of 'Discover'. Apparently my brain is enjoying microfiction (my girl bought me microfiction as a present because she is awesome) graphic novels and magazines at the moment. Could be far worse.
snuggled with dorky cat
Found one of my scribble-it-down notebooks; discovered there's some pretty good stuff in there.
set up a trial account at lumosity. (that is a seriously nifty site. am seriously pondering springing for one year membership. my brain feels good and stretchy.)
bit by another ficbunny.

tomorrow: PT, then botox, then coffee shop for an hour or two, then House assuming it's safe again. hate busy days like that but at least this week there are only two.

need a vacation, so badly. will have to settle for coffee and an afternoon showing of 'burn after reading' on thursday. growing sick of settling, but sadly there's no end to it in sight.

totally amazing clickie from the totally amazing foxestacado: second shark 'virgin birth'.

i still want to learn so many things but can't really justify going back to school right now. learning things seems easier to justify when it's in pursuit of a magical piece of paper. (sad commentary on society, that) right now I just feel like a dilettante, or like I'm playing at something to distract myself from the real world but that will have no real life application, and it bothers me. Cannot understand self on this issue. This is a particular problem with languages, because I want to learn some and get better at the ones I know, but there's no application in real life right now so it feels fruitless. why do I think this way? don't know. worth examining I suppose. brain, you so freaking crazy.

i suppose if nothing else I can call it research for ... something. the novel as yet-to-be-written.

OMG. I am complicated enough for the psychiatrist/neurologist! He had a cancellation next week! MAYBE SOMEONE WILL ACTUALLY FIX MY MEDS!

Dear Twits on the Phones at Outpatient Psychiatry:

If you cannot see the referral, then one of two things happened: either they lost it or you did. Considering your response when I asked you about this referral was, and I quote: 'are you sure that he sent the referral to our clinic? i have his name here, he's sent referrals to *iterates over six other clinics*. are you sure he sent the referral to our clinic? this is outpatient psychiatry.' I am betting that YOU lost the referral.

I am perfectly aware of what department I am calling, and my doctor is a BIG BOY who can WRITE HIS NAME NOW, EVEN ON REFERRAL SLIPS TO LOTS AND LOTS OF CLNICS. JUST BECAUSE HE HAS WROTE THOSE REFERRALS DOES NOT MEAN HE DID NOT WRITE MINE. IN FACT, I DO NOT KNOW WHAT IT DOES MEAN, EXCEPT THAT YOU ARE AN IDIOT.

I am half ready to call INPATIENT PSYCHIATRY just to get this DEALT WITH IN A TIMELY FASHION if y'all don't GET ON THE BALL.

L.

Bad day. Actually this is like, the third in the past four that I've had to pop klonopin to stay even remotely on an even keel. Damnit. Time to haul my broken self back to the shrink. (Yes, tallin, I already phoned and left a message with intake, before you ask me).

I don't even really know what's wrong this time. I'm just feeling unstable again.

Bah. Damned broken brain.

Kid is WHINING. Just under eighteen hours until school bus time.

Called rheumathology. Still no word on my file. Am getting sick of this crap. Plan on staging a sit-in next week if resolution is not forthcoming.

---

the odd shoes gallery, from my darling mirrormargaret.

tiny house blog, from the marvelous tsuki_no_bara. SO CUTE. there's part of me that wants to live in one. there's another part of me (the packrat part) that realizes the utter impossibility of this. I desperately love the artists' studios though. Do want.

This is absolutely fascinating: Japan's professional seducers. I'm enthralled and boggled. <3

good god. it's mutating still. <3 this is part 3. god, this thing needs a tag. it's clearly not ending.
Still needs a title, desperately, otherwise it'll just continue to be known as 'the mutant plotbunny with fangs'. Which is at the very least not descriptive.

Edit: AHA. Thanks to dominus_trinus and queenzulu this actually has a title now. <3 "Performative Nonnormative: The House Variations". Which is a bit of a mouthful but it makes me utterly squeeful.
( adventures at the mall. )

This will probably fail.
Edit: it has already failed. it's mutating. oh god.
anyway - i had this plotbunny last week - yes, i know genderfuck has been done before. (noteably by thedeadparrot, who does marvelous crack) but i got thinking 'why is it that wilson always turns into a woman, or everyone's gender gets switched? so - yeah. here you are. wherein wilson flirts, there is yelling, and partial nudity, and coffee.
( the woman in the parking lot. )