look at me still talking when there's science to do

( cut for melancholia, same old same old. )
happier things:
yesterday i found a really great coffee shop that's much less crowded than vivace and makes amazing crepes. i had a latte and a lovely crepe with lemon and sugar, filled with strawberries and topped with whipped cream, and i got change back from a ten. i also found a little movie theater basically at the end of our street.

i found the library last week; it's a really nice library and only two or three blocks.

i've been getting some wonderful mail love this week, from adularia and benjimmy. *squeezes both of them* <3

i have many amazing friends. how are you all?

jane_hidell's cat came back! i'm really happy about that. <3

i have a really good view at the end of the block.

( cut for bigness )

Things that make me slightly crazy:

1. That the summer school teachers leave notes addressed to "Sean's Mom" in his lunch.
2. That they have reason to make this ridiculously gender-based assumption about lunchmaking.

Vague musings:

Am thinking of (pain management, etc., willing) starting to look for work in late May/early June. As terrifying as the prospect is, it means a few things, not the least of which is that we might be able to move in about six months to a year. As much as I love this apartment, there are two big problems with it: the stairs to the street (which are becoming a bigger problem with my orthotic) and the lack of in-unit laundry facilities (because the laundry stuff is, you guessed it, down a bunch of stairs: see also.) I'd love to stay in the general neighborhood, but we're also thinking about Uwajimaya Village again: there's something awesome to be said about living over a massive Asian grocery store with attached mall/foodcourt, after all.

Am thinking, beyond that and after some bills are paid, of going back to school. Have a few avenues open to me (which is really a large part of the problem I've always had - too many avenues and not enough direction/too much indecision). The one that's largely appealing at the moment is finishing the remaining two years of my psychology degree and considering some kind of postgrad work in that area, maybe as a child/adolescent psychiatrist. There's apparently a lot of demand there.

Problems with this:
1. The whole anxiety of postgraduate stuff to begin with, considering half the time I worry I can't even finish a cup of coffee or a simple sentence, never mind an actual degree path - and somewhere in my head something got flipped that said 'real adults finish everything they start, and since you don't (NO EXCUSES ACCEPTED) you suck and are Not An Adult.

2. Well, money of course, but isn't it always?

3. Minor but annoying: as much as I'm interested in SPED and the psychology of autism and so on, I despise the idea of people thinking that I did this for my obviously broken child. I did it because it's interesting, and analyzing the kid is interesting and I want to know how he thinks, but it's not out of some Amazing Maternal Bond or anything, please. I love the little guy, but he's not my reason for living, clearly. And it disgusts me that people will undoubtedly think otherwise. Sigh. I know I can't do anything about the way other people think. It's just kind of icky that that sort of thing exists at all.