augh.

Apr. 28th, 2009 11:08 am
phinnia: asian person demonstrating proper use of facemask (birdflu)
good: neuro's medical assistant faxing referrals.
not good: stupid elevator broken AGAIN. biopsy negative, so now we're back to square one with that. today's plans derailed entirely. what to do now?

i am home

Apr. 21st, 2009 01:13 pm
phinnia: asian person demonstrating proper use of facemask (birdflu)
i can have all the ice cream i want. which is a lot. they took out twelve salivary glands. cannot use straws. stitches feel weird and i must not bite down on them. pain just started and it's already awful. i can has loricet. oh god it fucking hurts.
phinnia: girl with barcode on the back of her neck (barcode)
good news! the elevator is at the moment working. the previous issues were with contractors: one company turned the elevator off and one (or two?) more did the repairs (i know it's ridiculous. i heard it from the landlord. don't worry if it sounds stupid - it is stupid). from what he was saying all the contractors were actually here yesterday, and chris took the elevator down on his way to work, so with any luck it'll still be working when i go out to my appointment.

clickies have been brought to you today by [livejournal.com profile] foxestacado, [livejournal.com profile] frankencensy, and [livejournal.com profile] irismoonlight.

michelle obama hugs the queen. i heard this on the BBC last night (i woke up freezing at 1:30 when the BBC was on, so while i was warming up i heard them talking about it.) apparently it's some kind of protocol breach, but they both look so sweet and happy. made me smile. <3 And the Queen didn't mind, so. That's the important thing.

UK and Canada make deal to share polar facilities.

when you're in pain you have a right to do less

um, yeah.

i agree with this one. it's just so damn difficult. I like being productive. and i know that if it were anyone else other than me i would agree with it. *sigh* i hate looking at the end of the day and seeing nothing worthwhile in it, and it frustrates me to lower my principles. my issues, let me show you them. I'm trying to do better. *sigh again*

ucsd sends out acceptance letters to wrong list.

sweden overwhelmingly allows same-sex marriage as of next month.

i'm off to the oral surgeon as soon as [livejournal.com profile] doubletake gets here: i need a consult for a biopsy for mmy sjogren's test.
phinnia: girl with barcode on the back of her neck (barcode)
Today's clickies are all pictures or sets of pictures (and one video). It's funny how that spontaneously happens. Brought to you by [livejournal.com profile] awils1, [livejournal.com profile] foxestacado and [livejournal.com profile] nightdog_barks.

flickr set of vintage clothing labels.

see jesus on the wall

which gigantic corporations own the various organic food brands

week in photos: fluorescent cats, seaweed lamps and more

rainbow jellyfish

whales trucked to safety

today: botox shots, pee in a cup (noted here for my reference) DMV, new coffee shop, home. Went down the hill between 3rd and 4th on Spring (about a 75 degree angle if i had to guess) and it was so goddamn steep i nearly puked (and i am not driven to vomiting from fear most of the time. never doing that again EVER.) ambien works really well (thanks be to god) and the new methadone dose is good (except for a bit of wooziness in the afternoon after the second pill). biggest pain issue today is my left hip which was only quieted with two percocet (and i try not to use breakthrough meds during the day unless the pain is really bad.) next botox/rehab appointment is 23 June which is the same day as the rheumatologist (in the same hospital) - good if i'm working by then.

how are you?

clickies

Mar. 9th, 2009 09:58 am
phinnia: smiling dolphin face (light and curves)
pretty much all of these are from [livejournal.com profile] bernie_laramie; bernie is awesome. there's another from [livejournal.com profile] foxestacado, who is also fantastic. i have no energy today because i've had about five (maybe) hours of sleep (and i can't get back to sleep). so most of these are presented without comment. sorry about that.

7 incredible natural phenomena

fifteen bizarre statues

church's attack on pop culture leads to pornography. the last line is the best part, IMO.

the world's smallest radio.

pastor deflects bullet with bible.

my eyes hurt, a lot. one of these days i'll remember to pick up eyedrops. god i feel like hell. happy-gifts for Jane go here. as far as i know elevator is still broken. hope it is working by noonish; do not want to take a cab if I can help it and am not sure about pain levels given lack of sleep.

... god that's only two hours. must go out, as doctor's appt. cannot be missed (needs to perscribe more pain meds, and the pain meds need adjusting imo)

the women in my life are seriously amazing people ([livejournal.com profile] adularia and [livejournal.com profile] machineplay). i'm ridiculously lucky to have them and to have so many great friends, too. if i have the cycles to finish a wee bit of erotica by midnight i'm going to do that.

huh. there are noises in the hall. they may be fixing the elevator. that would rule.

i hope your day is good. i actually like mondays because the boy is off to school and it's quiet.

*fwump*

clickies

Feb. 19th, 2009 01:00 pm
phinnia: footprints in sand. text: "let us go then, you and i" (let us go)
From the ever-fabulous [livejournal.com profile] adularia: James Joyce's dirty letters. whoa.

from [livejournal.com profile] brightflashes, who always finds fabulous stuff: brains of lonely people work differently and Katamari Damacy creator has new game. I'll be buying a PS3 just for this (well, that and the fact that my PS2 has mysteriously disappeared SOMEWHERE. it has my house s1 and s2 boxed sets. bah.)

eta: from the marvelous [livejournal.com profile] kightp: our first lady knows how to talk to children without talking down to them. she is so amazingly cool and smart. <3 <3 i may have to love her.

from the lovely and talented [livejournal.com profile] silenceleigh: Zack Arias talks about the artist, life and process. worksafe, audio required, vision not (but he's a photographer, there's some awesome stuff.)

This is seriously a must-watch for any creative person. It hit me hard because he's describing ME right now; a lot to think about. Definitely worth ten minutes of your day.

and from my beloved internet daughter, [livejournal.com profile] sunsetsinthewes: 71 odd things found in the subway. I LOVE THIS STUFF.

two days left of break. kid has wellchild visit later today. it's going to be so nice to have some time ALONE, jesus. too much mental and physical noise. i keep saying we need to find babysitting or a daycamp for these weeks and forgetting. kid got into a soap sample this morning and decided to stim with it. s'okay by me.

i actually saw the mystery cat come onto the balcony the other day. i was right; she does go around on that wee ledge.

i grated the skin off of one of my toes by catching it on the metal screen of the magazine rack. hurts like a bitch.

tired. celebrex is working alright but there's still some breakthrough pain, although less.

having an insane amount of trouble focusing in general, even when i have uninterrupted time. speaking of creative people: what do you do to focus?

i want a minivideocam. i love handling and splicing my own actual, physical film, but it's becoming harder and harder to find. video allows for certain things better and it's defininitely cheaper, but it's at the expense of the tactile, which is kind of sad. does anyone have one? what model might you reccomend?

i have water in my ear and it's driving me BUGNUTS.
phinnia: rows and rows of lucky waving cats (millions of nekos)
Still more depressed/maudlin than baseline. Stupid Paxil. down to 5mg daily; in two weeks it'll be 5mg/every other day, and then it'll be GONE FROM MY LIFE and I should really have a party.

(note: this experience with paxil is by no means a reason for others not to take antidepressants. i was seriously overdosed, but I'm mostly better now and on other more appropriate antidepressants. i believe in better living through chemistry. Me not on meds is not something anyone should experience. i'm still ashamed/embarassed by things i did without them even though i was seriously not thinking straight. this is a public service announcement from me. I'll be justifying quite a few things these days, because frankly this is really difficult*. sorry for the inconvenience.)

Don't know if I want to go to lecture tonight. Have babysitter anyway; will decide at last minute. (hate dealing with this particular babysitter as i never know if i'm getting through to her. oh well.)

clickies:

From the continually awesome [livejournal.com profile] bishojo_kitsune: surgeons use twitter in operating room.

From the forever excellent [livejournal.com profile] mactavish, a few: arkansas and five other states ban atheists from public service. ... do they not REALIZE this is discrimination? i mean, it's completely obvious to anyone with half a brain, but large numbers of politicians don't fall into that category, sadly enough.

And also The Long View. Pictures of Christchurch, NZ and Antarctica. (i can stop any time, i'm not obsessed) (much) (okay, i'm lying, i am, but it's not like it's cocaine).

One from my girl [livejournal.com profile] machineplay dancing wheelchair. No, really, it's very cool, you should watch the video.

* read: very difficult means 'oh god this is hell. i will be justifying everything, which is very irrational and yet i do it anyway.
phinnia: smiling dolphin face (marilyn/script)
there's a lot of good stuff on the intertubes these days. <3

[livejournal.com profile] thewlisian_afer has clickies posts that are much more awesome than mine a lot of the time, seriously. Here's a sample of today's best ones:

world's youngest divorcee takes on Paris and a real childhood. She's TEN. and seriously brave. what an amazing girl.

racoon bites off man's manhood in rape attack. dude. if you are stupid enough to try and rape a raccoon (there's a phrase I never thought I'd use) you DESERVE getting your tallywhacker severed. (tallywhacker ™ Chris's late grandmother, who I sorely regret not getting to meet. she liked the golden girls and law and order and old movies and coffee. we would have gotten along famously.)

redneck wedding cakes. just ... WHAT. the deer ones ...

my new favorite photo, from my girl: dolphin meets zebra I want this in a larger version. <3 SO CUTE OMG.

Once again, pain is up to eleven, although strongarmed down to a seven or so with the methadone and celebrex. Tried lidoderm patches on the worst parts last night, which helped to a certain extent. This is nucking futz. I think this is what people call a flare. ugh. I'm going to try and get some work done today regardless. Hopefully.
phinnia: a purple capsule with the word *sigh* above it (meds)
pain up to eleven today; also bad for last several days but not this bad. probably why I've been feeling awful and emotionally screwy all week (not helped because sleep is broken etc.) methadone + celebrex + two percocet + heat help some but not a huge amount. exhausted. lowgrade fever? something. sweaty anyway, pain in all diodes down left side and some in right.

taking today lightly. tempted to rebook tomorrow's psych appt. (thursday night plans good for emotional health and would be kind of depressed if missed. anyone else want to come and see a documentary about Antarctica with me and the (larger) boy? 7PM showing at the Grand Illusion (50th and University Ave); cute little independent theater. my friday plans will help a good bit with pain actually. and also mental health.

blood tests came back inconclusive. getting saliva test w/ dentist (better indicator than blood test).

resting.

cool stuff:

from [livejournal.com profile] awils1 (who frequently finds extremely awesome stuff) synthetic biology, ethics and the hacker culture.

from my beautiful and amazing girl: arctic unicorns (narwhal).

eta: found movie on dvd. cancelled that. have nothing until friday (which is at spa so will help w/ pain).
phinnia: an upside down picture of seaners, laughing (seaners-laughing)
Via [livejournal.com profile] mactavish, who is entirely a fantastic person. the book that the president read to children today.

This is probably the best news story I've ever read.

also: neuro is satisfied with me; will see him again in 4 months. wrote me scrip for celebrex because i wasn't seeing anyone else for a month and he said that would be a better solution than the narcotics; scrip for klonopin (which i rarely take but like to have on hand) and for liquid paxil to finish off the taper. all good stuff. handing me over to shrink. Got to neuro fine; took cab back because appointment ran late.

and a fab link from my fab girl [livejournal.com profile] machineplay: the baby that refuses to grow.
phinnia: smiling dolphin face (house/wilson-yay!)
Although I wouldn't be surprised if he was/is a wizard. He'd have an easy time hiding the certification in his ten or twelve degrees.

Progress:

I can put my own shoes on now. Both of them. I can pick up both of my feet and put on socks and not get winded from it.

I'm going out today and taking the bus without the wheelchair; I have to go to the neuro's office and his office is severely cluttered. So I'll be walking from the bus stop to the office. (it's about three blocks). I'm feeling great today and I'm in only a small amount of pain at the moment. I can do this. (and I have cab money and emergency percocet if it's a problem.)

And I'm off.
phinnia: smiling dolphin face (house/rainbowsunshine)
I'm noticing my breakthrough pain getting worse. I made an appointment with my doctor in five weeks, figuring I can chart the pain between now and then to get a better idea of whether i need to increase my methadone or not. Anyone have any tips or tricks or handy ways to do that other than the scribble down semi-legibly in a notebook method?

<3
phinnia: smiling dolphin face (andemade geisha-shadowed)
Last night the kidlet made up a sign for 'bedtime snack' with no prompting - it's a combination of his signs for 'eat' and 'sleep'. I am SO PROUD right now. He's learning and processing and just ... getting it! eee. (he's also singing little songs that he's learned in school - the 'eensy weensy spider', and scales - no words, but very obvious tunes.)

clickies!

From the incredibly awesome [livejournal.com profile] brightflashes, two clickies of interest: ten sci-fi devices that could soon be in your hands and feeling your words: hearing with your face. so awesome.

Another from [livejournal.com profile] foxestacado, who sends me marvelous things frequently: marlon brando's ghost continues to haunt his island.

An item of local interest: the story behind the steps in the sidewalk. Our neighborhood has several sidewalk stones that have dancing-diagrams for various types of dance - waltz, rumba, chachacha, etc - and I never knew why before. I love local history.

today: attempting to sort out sean's perscriptions via stupid mailorder pharmacy thing. ugh. hate. (the worst of it is that I can do phone or internet refills via my current pharmacy, so this really has no advantage for me - and phones make me seriously aphasic these days, especially when I'm stressed). Need to either use that IP relay thing that chris told me about that uses instant messaging, or start writing scripts before every call. AUGH HATE. The collection agency I had to deal with this morning was so bad that I had to have Chris deal with them because my voice practically locked up. *wince* hooray, yet another fucking disability - and worse yet it's activating old family issues because my mother would so frequently criticize my speaking (not loud enough, not clearly enough, making fun of my stutter in some supposed means of "helping" to fix it, etc.)

Other annoying things: I'm losing weight (please don't congratulate me - again with the eating disorder thing) and my pants are falling off. No, I mean literally. Yes, sometimes with a belt. I hate buying new pants. Also: kid has today off for no discernable reason (okay, kid is being really good, but still, schoolboard fail).

On the other hand: fedex actually showed up (or at least the express one did) with our router. So that's good.

clickies

Jan. 22nd, 2009 12:04 pm
phinnia: smiling dolphin face (paper stars)
new study shows warming trends in antarctica. This makes me sad. I love Antarctica beyond all reason - it's an obsession of mine - and it provided source material for my favorite house/wilson friendship fic ever: extreme weather. (it's my pet. if i do remix this year, this would be the safe story. it makes me sad that it's not more popular, because i know it's much better than some things I've written. Bah. oh fandom, thou art a fickle mistress.)

From one of my dearest internet children, [livejournal.com profile] cueballex: anatomically correct model of the human brain - made of wool. You can even unzip it and see the two hemispheres. It's AMAZING.

Also, for Jeeves and Wooster fans:



Sound required, vision optional, worksafe. SO AMAZING. This is a middle school orchestra.

Reason I am proud of myself today: i had breakfast before noon, and I did the vacuuming and unloaded the groceries. Now I will rest, and later unload the dishwasher if I feel up to it.

I've started to taper off on my antispasticity meds; I can feel it helping. I'm still wrapping and assembling packages. I have two boxes of books n my living room (will move them to dining room after box of boxes goes down. Now I have to swap the laundry.

clickies

Dec. 22nd, 2008 12:19 pm
phinnia: dolphins leaping out of the box from 4.1 "Alone" (house/dolphinbox wilson)
dolphins wield tools of the sea.

giant stinking flower reveals a hot secret.

(both from the most excellent [livejournal.com profile] brightflashes)

from my favorite nutritional anthropologist, [livejournal.com profile] razzle: traditional holiday foods across europe.

and from the bestest 'Licia in the whole wide world: Librarophiliac Love Letter: a comopendium of beautiful libraries.

Real Soon Now(™) the landlord is coming fo fix our toilet.

... eventually.

also: heard from neuro/psych - did a phone appt. due to the snow. He discussed my meds and is making changes to them, and he gave me the name of a psychiatrist which I've called and left a message for.

eta: landlord had to take his wife to work, road conditions were stupid. He's going out now to get the grab bars (one for each end of the tub, plus some nonskid stuff) and will be installing them tommorow. YAY i can shower without a babysitter again! rock the fuck ON.
phinnia: smiling dolphin face (zut!)
Yesterday when I was at PT there was a ridiculously adorable service chihuahua (i have no idea what service the dog provided, although I was terribly curious). Her name was Boo Boo and she had all matching pink accessories, plus pink sweater, AND a SQUEAKY RUBBER CHICKEN with a PIRATE COSTUME. Her owner was sitting on the floor in the lobby area, letting her play (she was tethered to her matching pink carrier, which at least slowed her down a bit) and she wanted to say HI to EVERYONE IN THE WORLD or at least the eighth floor. <3 It was ridiculously cute.

Pain in the ass of the moment: Sean's school is closing (the condition of the building isn't so great, and they're having to close schools to make budget or whatever). I'm annoyed at this for several reasons:

1. my little guy will probably not be near his friends. Of course he will make more, he's an extremely social little guy. But I'm still kind of sad for him. (nts: damnit, do not think about this for very long otherwise you'll end up crying AGAIN AUGH.)
2. we'll have to train ANOTHER teacher and set of therapists.
3. once again more of the focus during the move is on the APP program (gifted program). One of my biggest annoyances re: this school was that SO MUCH of the focus is/was ON the APP program and SPED programs seem like an afterthought. (they only have two demographics at this school - sped and gifted.)
4. One of the reasons we moved to this location was BECAUSE of his school.

Of course there are good points:
1. I have a feeling/ I want to push them so he'll end up at Green Lake, which we toured before and which I really, really liked: they have hot lunches for the SPED students and a therapy dog and the people were really welcoming - plus they have more of an internet presence AND it's not too far from Capitol Hill
2. Sean's school is by no means the only awesome thing in this neighborhood.

I am attempting to make knitted coffee cup sleeves for Seaners' teacher and aide. I'm hoping that if I start now I might be able to finish on time.

Today's dose of Lamactil only seems to be making me moderately tired instead of severely wrecked/tired. Also no rash. I still put Seaners' snack out early.

A link, from the always fantastic [livejournal.com profile] gokuma: regenerating a mammoth for 10 million dollars.

Things I want to do this weekend:
1. knit coffee sleeves
2. pack
3. possibly watch movies (we still have the Greencine ones unpacked and I want to watch them so we can send them back)
4. maybe catch up on House eps
5. write
6. cook dinner (dinner = tofurkey (i like them. really.), garlic mashed potatoes, mashed yams with maple syrup, cheesecake.)
7. see [livejournal.com profile] adularia to drop off clothing and foodbank supplies

What are you doing this weekend?
phinnia: smiling dolphin face (bracelet/chains)
had botox shots and PT today. scheduled more PT. had blood drawn again (liver panel, as always). got home and slept away part of afternoon. sososososofreaking TIRED.

Great: [livejournal.com profile] arjache coming over tonight to help pack and generally be awesome.

Also great: seeing [livejournal.com profile] adularia this weekend, if only for a wee while.

really freaking great: kid has only one hour's worth of early dismissal tomorrow rather than two.

Lamictal today seems fine; i faking 1/4 standard dose.Maybe that's what's making me so mindbogglingly omfgTIRED.

clickies:
map reveals secrets behind place names. From the most wonderful and gracious [livejournal.com profile] nightdog_barks.

From [livejournal.com profile] starsong, who is one of my great loves in this life: mystery piano found in woods.

Oh! yes, the base of my wheelchair came in. I forgot to put that in there. It's in now.

How are you?
phinnia: "why is it every time i try to get somewhere i'm waylaid by jackassery?' (house/blackandwhite-jackassery)
living room: mostly full of boxes. forty-two of them to be exact, thanks to [livejournal.com profile] hithah, who is amazing.

child: home due to a rash (it is actually a rash this time). going to peds doc at 2:30 today.

me: been to the neuro and back. Have perscriptions for several vitamins and buspar. Long term neuro is talking about me being off most meds or at lower doses. Am bloody terrified of this concept, actually. i do not like the person i was before my meds, and i am having a lot of trouble reconciling myself to the idea that i will not become that person again. yeah, i know i have this backwards and that most people don't want meds. don't care. apparently i have awesome blood sugar and a massive vitamin d deficiency (something I likely have in common with most people in Seattle).

me: somewhat sad, and angry at internet trolls who seem to think acting like spoiled three year olds is appropriate because 'it's just the internet' as though it made their behavior less real or something. ashamed to know people like this.

me: wearing an eeg on my head. I look vaguely alien as my head is the wrong shape.

me: frustrated about writing, or more accurately lack thereof. want a vacation, or really just not to deal with life at all.

me: figured out i'm terrified of working because this means that my job will suck up every moment of my free time and i will never do anything fun ever again. must stop using chris as example. also would love to stop taking things to the far extremes but have been doing that all my life, am not sure how possible it is to stop such a thing.
phinnia: b&w picture of spoons. text "i have measured out my life in coffee spoons" (coffee spoons)
Nothing is more likely to make me want to do something than deciding that I want to do something else. It never fails. I decided on the pastry school program. I had a great list of reasons! (it's creative, it's something I've always wanted to do, it's going to be really close to the new apartment - like about four blocks or thereabouts, it's a little less expensive, it's shorter - five quarters instead of eight ...)

And so I phoned and got myself put on the list. I have everything all filled out, all the testing is done, etc. etc. Now I just wait, and change my contact information when I move, and make sure periodically I'm on the right list (because it's a popular program and it's limited-space every year). They're closing the program due to massive building renovations for two quarters next year, so I'm on the list for fall 2009. Everything's good, right?

Apparently not. Now that I've made that decision, my brain starts iterating over all the reasons the other one would have been a better idea and how dumb I am for deciding this idea was any good at all and how I am either going to a) fail or 2) never have time to do anything else that I enjoy doing EVAR AGAIN because the job will eat all of my free time every single day.

I do not understand myself. My brain is broken. There is something obviously wrong with it. (actually yes, there is - this is a typical display of atypical depression. Which is such a stupid name for it.)




Seaners had a little party with his class today (his birthday is tomorrow); he brought home one of those talking cards (it startled me) and a really adorable stuffed seal cub. He came home, had a snack and then fell asleep curled up in a ball on his sofa.

(tomorrow we will have warm fruit and gluten free brownies instead of cake, and I think that will make him happy, because those are two of his favorite things. <3)

I still can't believe he's almost seven. <3

I suddenly feel old and panicky for no reason. AUGH BRAIN STOPPIT. *medicates brain into submission, or at least some form of behaving*
phinnia: prayerflags, spread out (prayerflags)
Today's lesson - do not take two tylenol 3's with codeine along with 25mg of nortriptaline unless you are really really serious about wanting to sleep. Because they create this magical cocktail that means even yours truly will be out for twelve freakin' hours plus. I just got up at twelve-thirty pst. That said I do feel significantly better than yesterday.

We have gone from too little sleep to far too damn much sleep. Good times! Good times. <3

So [livejournal.com profile] reannon, my sister in birthdays and vampire authoress extraordinaire, has both an awesome article out now and a new book coming out soon. I know there's at least one of you in St. Louis (hi, [livejournal.com profile] newtypeshadow!) so you should try and make it to her book release party tonight! I would go but, you know, the whole long distance thing, mountains in the way. Either way you should buy the book.

Tomorrow is the bigger boy's birthday (woo!). I am going to try and achieve cake for this. If I cannot achieve cake I will drag him down to Yummy House (god that sounds much pervier than it meant to) and we will have cake there. Or possibly both of these things will happen. I can't decide between their mango pudding cake and their tiramisu cheesecake, so I usually end up getting both anyway.

today's plan:

  • possibly bake cake (depends on body and whether or not body is stupid about sitting on kitchen stool. boy would rather go out to lunch with me (ie: have me coherent) than insist on homebaked cake (boy has said as much), so perhaps no, but we will see.
  • rp tags
  • sweep floor
  • scribble down some original ficthoughts
  • organize fluff fics from [livejournal.com profile] stuffonmywilson (yes, I do plan to finish those. It may take me until next summer, but I AM going to finish those.)
  • maybe pick away at fic-in-progress; scribble down notes/beginning of 'blackout' sequel I thought about while going to sleep
  • hide boy's birthday presents before he gets home
  • deal with boxes that need to be recycled
  • avoid killing child (although if he snaps another debit card in half I make no guarantees.)

hi. how're you doing?

Adopt one today! Adopt one today! Adopt one today! Adopt one today!
phinnia: asian person demonstrating proper use of facemask (birdflu)
the iyou because meme: love me here


I have a fever, intermittent chills and hot spikes, and I think that was what caused the intensity of last night's breakdown to be turned to eleven. (that said, chris is still going to call employee assistance and I still need a shrink very very soon.)

(because a few people asked). My GP is not touching my psych meds because I have gone Way Further than his experience in brainmeds management. The usual top dose for Paxil is 60mg/day; the only reason I'm on 80mg/day is that it was signed off on by a psychiatric attending when I had my last psych (who has since gradulated.) That plus the celexa makes things difficult; and because methadone represses respiration and so do a lot of antianxiety drugs (see also ativan for instance) he wants to get the opinion of a specialist, especially since I have a history of bad reactions (wellbutrin, neurontin). I respect this guy very much largely because he admits his own failings when he has them rather than behaving like he's God.)




From the most awesome [livejournal.com profile] epi_lj: wanna buy a house?

From [livejournal.com profile] hobbitblue (ever cheerful in the best possible way): beware of cute duckling scam.




Adopt one today! Adopt one today! Adopt one today! Adopt one today! Adopt one today!
phinnia: b&w picture of spoons. text "i have measured out my life in coffee spoons" (coffee spoons)
Well, at the hour of oh my god thirty, I'm off to prove I'm crippled enough for paratransit. Fabulous, just fabulous. I have to make them a list of my meds, which is always entertaining, especially when we get to the part where I'm taking two spastic muscle relaxants.

(person: "you do know that both of these do the same thing, right?)
(me: *sigh* "I am, yes.")
(person: "and do your doctors know about this?")
(me: "yes. it was the same guy that perscribed both of them. They don't really make much more than a dent in my spasticity, actually.)
(person: "ooooooooooooookay...")
(me: "can I have my pills please?")

I would also like to state that of all the side effects I've ever suffered, the methadone induced drymouth is the worst. My mouth sticks to itself. It's painful and horrible.

but enough of that, here are some clickies for you:

From the marvelous [livejournal.com profile] the_xtina: Sesame Street absorbed by the Department Of Homeland Security. Oh sure, it's all about disaster readiness, okay. It's not the Sandman at all...yet.

(god, you really do have to give them credit for propaganda. Seriously. This whole setup was incredible.)

From my incredibly gorgeous and talented girlfriend [livejournal.com profile] machineplay: GOP candidate was picked up by a woman, wakes up with $120,000 of his stuff missing. *cough. cough. smirk.* Um. That poor man... um... or something, anyway. *cough*

Adopt one today! Adopt one today! Adopt one today! Adopt one today!
phinnia: smiling dolphin face (loose time sign)
Good science/health podcasts please. Other podcasts also awesome (varied music podcasts, knitting good too) but am stimming on science at the moment.

Plus size (current size - 22-24) belts - preferably something not too flashy. I have one, and many pairs of jeans that attempt to fall off my rather shapely ass. While I'm sure there are some of you who wouldn't mind this, I don't especially want to flash the bus driver or the guys painting the building.

we finally have hot water. ([livejournal.com profile] tallin: he fixed the sink in the bathroom, too - it actually has temperatures now instead of always running cold.)

I am stupidly tired and am going to lie down. I keep falling asleep sitting up and having dreams so vivid that I want to reach out and touch the thing i'm dreaming about, and then I try to, and then i wake up. It's kind of cool.

I am irrationally fascinated with North Korea. It's just one of those things I'm fascinated with. Kim Jong-Il released a rap album? Seriously?

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phinnia: asian person demonstrating proper use of facemask (birdflu)
Bad day. Actually this is like, the third in the past four that I've had to pop klonopin to stay even remotely on an even keel. Damnit. Time to haul my broken self back to the shrink. (Yes, [livejournal.com profile] tallin, I already phoned and left a message with intake, before you ask me).

I don't even really know what's wrong this time. I'm just feeling unstable again.

Bah. Damned broken brain.

Kid is WHINING. Just under eighteen hours until school bus time.

Called rheumathology. Still no word on my file. Am getting sick of this crap. Plan on staging a sit-in next week if resolution is not forthcoming.




the odd shoes gallery, from my darling [livejournal.com profile] mirrormargaret.

tiny house blog, from the marvelous [livejournal.com profile] tsuki_no_bara. SO CUTE. there's part of me that wants to live in one. there's another part of me (the packrat part) that realizes the utter impossibility of this. I desperately love the artists' studios though. Do want.

This is absolutely fascinating: Japan's professional seducers. I'm enthralled and boggled. <3

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ow

Aug. 13th, 2008 10:29 pm
phinnia: asian person demonstrating proper use of facemask (birdflu)
i has had doctor. i has had shot of phenergen. i will sleep soon. fuck my head hurts. night everybody.

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